Peace Out

All these feelings rush in. Ones that have been denied for so long, and i start to wonder; am i a product of my own imagination?
There’s nothing i can do to stop this conflict, nothing left to plug this stream of thoughts that attack me in the cowering corners of my mind. Nothing is left unprotected, unassumed, unsinged by my furies.
The gods are not on my side, and i have no luck of my own.
who is left to cry out to?
Abd when i sit and wonder, imagining the worst, devaluing the best, i start to praise my own uncertainty.
This is normal. This is life. This is unlimited.
There are many more struggles to come. Such deep, lonely waters where i drift, the weeds of angst wrapping thier tendrils of doubt around my ankles. Nature has no sense of mercy.
And to this we are left exposed.
There is no higher calling.
Salvation, Sanctity, Faith – are all empty concepts to those who know fear.
God drags your devotion upwards, to an empty sky, unknowing and anonimous.
Fear consumes your soul, its always behind you, you can never escape it.
So in the night as you shiver, and your eyes grow wide fear has – once again – conquered mankind.
Another drop of blood in the shark filled sea of compassion.
But fear subsides, our sense of danger repeals, and we wait in our cells for it to return. And return it will.
This world is too big for me, yet its confines too small.
Why am i expected to stay here?
Shallow happinesses make me guilt ridden, i can accomplish no peace.
Everything i have sought or chased after has turned out to be as empty and twisted as a dying tree, biding its time, waiting to fall. or be cut.
It screams. Every living thing screams out to me. I cant concentrate for the screams.
State of mind is mis-matched with responsibility. Obligations, too high.
I pray to what i dont believe in.
The ripples of fate disturb my tide.
Im running out of tears left to cry.
When the tears have gone, i turn to anger. You made me cry. You made me feel searing guilt. Now i want you to know. Stabbing or shooting, i dont care which.
I sometimes worry.
Given the chance i’s press that big red button and nuke the world.
Im not evil. Or unbalanced.
Its for your own good.
What’s left to carry on for?
If ths is our generation, imagine the horrors of the next.
It is time. That’s all.
Imagine the blast – initially obscene – and then…

Peace.

A blank in space and time where so much conflict was, now reduced to nothingness.

Peace.