Consideration
Powers Boothe says:
like when a butterfly flaps its wings in brazil…
fuck the enlightenment says:
someone drops their trousers in essex?
Is it possible. a question i ask alot. and when i ask perhaps i know it is not, it never will be possible. Yet still i ask.
I didnt get much sleep and evey film i watched was so depressing i had to turn it off before the end.
i wish i’d learnt not to care sooner. I wish i’d learnt not to care.
I want to be free. I want to glide. with ease, and a smile, ”rose tinted spectacles”
Freedom is happiness
happiness is without truth
contentment is blind
knowledge crowds the issue
crowds the mind
the mind needs to be empty to be free
when i am thinking of nothing atall i am smiling. And i see the sun and clouds and i feel somewhat warm, almost glad to be alive and maybe even content.
And then in flood the words, drown me, and sling me back down into the darkest corner of my mind, like a stone hitting the bottom of the lake.
Cut loose from a floatation device and left to sink.
I try to cling to what i know, to where i know i will be safe.
my dreams threaten me and when ever i fall asleep i fear i wont wake again.
then i realise its not anger that rises in me, its fear.
Fear so intense it fucking blows me apart, like raging flames, tearing through a gas filled station, or a petrol soaked house (not even a home, a house)
M mind, my body especially, isnt my home. Its just a place A place of confinement. As the years will pass by.
I’ll keep tearing myself apart, But still i’ll be brave. Keep churning over, some sense of normality.
There is beauty in the world, only it is disturbing. TRUE beauty disturbs you so greatly, thats how you KNOW it is beautiful.
It makes you uncomfortable for its destructiveness. Its chaos, its splintering, bloody
trail of destruction, that run through you, like a blade,
is there nothing but me?
xXx
Thank you for your kind kind words. I think it would be so cool to actually meet you. Your words are like a sight for sore eyes. I sometimes wish that something could break me so that I’d recover and become a stronger, more fearless version of myself, unbreakable and made of steel. Beautiful entry. Thanks again for the lovely comment.
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The fact that you wrote “f’uck the enlightenment” makes me smile. 🙂
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Love, Love, Love the part about beauty. Is that why conforming to society’s view of beauty and enlightenment is so engrained into our minds? Are we all in confinment?
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RE: Websites, are pretty easy… Doesn’t take much knowledge to get one started…
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I think you are a beautiful person.
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