Scholarly Redirection

Retrograde, so I will contine my theme of bolding re and so this time its redirection.

Summer, 1995 (11 Years of Age)

An event that marks my transition from light-hearted, aspiring athlete and outgoing school mate to a isolated, brooding, clueless child. Social cliques for Elementary School are well defined by this point in time, and easily carried into Jr. High/Middle School if you get to go to the same school as most of your clique. My parents aren’t equipped with the psychological tools to make sure their kid makes the transition to new neighborhood and school in a healthy, functional way. I’m beyond that now – thankful for my isolation because it gave way to my desire for independence and self-consciousness.

…1996, 1997, 1998…

That’s a period of events that pushes my mom to give me a book for Anger Management. I remember her giving me that book and telling me to read through. I never did – I didn’t get beyond the 1st page. That moment of my life is symbolic of my relationship with my parents.

I’m sure they were tipped of my moments where I indiscriminately acted out violently at BGem or other boys and girls in the neighborhood. I was immediately shameful of any act of rage and promptly ran away. I’m sure fits at my parents prompted isolation after physical punishment. I can remember pushing one girl to where she had the wind knocked out of her; I pushed BGem into my dresser; someone would break the rules in a neighborhood kickball game and I would kick/throw the ball at them HARD.

2001 and I get a drivers license. I’m happier, make friends and escape home often. Its really just a place to rest my head and have dinner most of the time.

—

I think in all of that, I started on a path of self-consciousness or self-discovery. I think I’ve mostly finished that. Since I hate surprises, I prepare myself for life events ahead of time and objectively take care of incidents and move on. I try to do this in a psychologically functional way so I’m not over-stepping my bounds and stepping on anyone else’s toes.

DLion posted a FB message discussing the conversation he had with his father, who is a materially greedy, conservative biggot. I’m not exaggerating, and that’s probably a nice way to state the kind of person he is. In the conversation the father railed against liberals, homosexuals and progressive states. I responded to DLion’s post by saying, "Your father is trying to empower himself by putting down liberals and homosexuals; he’s obviously an insecure man and so don’t let rambling from a scared "man" bother you, which is tough given he’s apart of your family. You have people around you now who accept you for who you are and so be happy :D." Twin’s mom responded saying, "Ahh, Justin you are a wise man." She herself has been on a crusade with some of her biggoted friends who ask if she has a "problem" or "issue" with LG being gay.

I stayed awake thinking, "Ahh, Justin you are a wise man" burned into my mind. I am pretty wise, most of the time aren’t I? I should probably pursue psychology. I will. I will do that; pursue psychology. I really mean that.

Twin mentioned awhile back that maybe she would get a teaching certification and I could be a counsellor. I have taken interest in child development from a psychological standpoint (due to my own dysfunctional childhood I believe).

I remember a lot of stuff from my HS psychology classes. That probably points to some sort of aptitude.

The most interesting segments on KUOW revolve around discussions of consciousness and psychology, though usually presented on the radio as philosophy.

I obviously take interest in personality indicators.

… so I have a plan. I need to get some more information and probably look to get a Direct Transfer Degree so some of my college credit I have counts. Then I will take that to an accredited online university and go from there. I want to perform services rather than administrate them. I’m settled enough to invest some time and effort into myself. I will need to exercise some willpower though and stick to a plan.