Prom Season

Today on KUOW they did a factoid and response segment on Prom since a local high school is having theirs this weekend and others will follow suit throughout the rest of the month. I thought maybe I posted an journal entry I wrote the day after Prom 9 years ago, but I can’t find it now so now I will have to start fresh.

To preface the event, I was just getting over the worst depression I have ever experienced. I was really lonely, I didn’t have anything productive because I wasn’t working, and I didn’t feel as though I had much of a future.

Anyway, its the Tuesday before Prom and I’m approached by a couple of popular girls (my role in HS was to avoid being seen and I had no clique, instead my friends were a patchwork of members of different cliques). They propositioned that I should be the date for their friend to prom. She’s really nice and no guy had asked her to prom yet. I knew this girl, she was in my Beyond Advanced Algebra & Trigonometry class and an art class, I believe I was taking Advanced Art. I agreed and so they brokered the coversation. I was fitted for my tux the same day and we talked the next day about the plans for the afternoon before the dance and the dance itself.

Everything did go according to plan. I went to one of her friends house, and spotted everyone out in the lawn taking pictures. I assert that I knew a lot of the people in the 20 person group. I had classes with more than half of them, and even a few went to the same middle school. I had talked to a number of them, but certainly didn’t feel like a friend to any of them. The best bond I had was with a brother/sister set (I’m not sure if they were twins or just born close enough together to be in the same graduating class). They both worked at Emerald Downs. I was driving them and their dates, plus myself and my date to Shilshoe Bay Club and Marina, then we would ride in a limo to and from dinner. It was a great, sunny afternoon and so the pictures had to be really nice though my date was taller than me.

The limo was very packed, with 20 people it was over capacity so some were sitting in on the bar surfaces. The restaurant was an interesting experience. I didn’t know French cuisine. I was starving, but I was so nervous that i didn’t eat much. My date and I paid for ourselves. I formed some comraderie with the other guys in the group. My date was more socially awkward than me. In reality, we probably had a lot in common at the time EXCEPT I wasn’t trying to be someone I wasn’t and she was.

At the dance itself, I ended up having a good bit of fun. I stuck with my date for a few conversations, even tried to flirt and loosen her up some with no success, but also wandered off to socialize with some of my friends who had showed up. Manchild was coerced by our psych teacher. Sport Leo had a date. I also knew a different guy that I trailed off with and his group of nerdy, intelligent friends. I had a lot of fun for that bit though. They played the last dance song and I changed my mind about not dancing, but my date was nowhere for me to find her. She actually ended up in the bathroom during the last dance.

The drive back to Auburn was really awkward. I put together this mix tape of softer alternative songs that might fit the mood. Everyone was really quiet and the shy, socially awkward guy decided to try and keep everyone amused. I told some stories. When I talked about writing poems and having an ex-girlfriend that lived in Canada, my date killed the night with "I thought you were just a car guy." I took that very personally. I tried to flirt with her and make sure she was entertained, and that’s how she wanted to end the night, "I thought you were just a car guy." She also said my music was depressing. Sorry I didn’t listen to some Top 40 BS.

I don’t have any pictures from the night. My date went on a week long vacation after that and in that timespan I lost the courage to try and talk to her about them. I didn’t really talk to her again at all after that. Sport Leo knew her well and was taking initiative to try and get her to talk more throughout the year. I don’t remember if it ever worked. There’s really no wondering in hindsight why no one asked her out for a date, but was obviously comfortable enough with some friends to share her disappointment.

So what did I learn?

Well, I learned that I can be a great conversationalist and have no problem striking up conversation with people I don’t know that well. I don’t tell stories about friends, or gossip, but rather talk about things I’ve experienced personally. I might not want to be that open with everyone, or if I am then I will have to stand up for myself.

I also gathered I should’ve went alone. I would’ve had much more fun mingling. It would’ve been a great event to embrace all of my different facets, but instead I tethered back to my date unnecessarily. I was again a shy, socially awkard kid that didn’t identify with popular trends nor commit to any one particular quirk.

I am happy I went though. I grew tremendously, and probably helped provide closure on the high school experience for me. I wished though it was June 14th instead of May 14th.

Lastly, I have a superpower… and it is sensing the vibe in a room and expressing that mood emotionally and physically. I was swept up into the event to where I did things I normally wouldn’t (flirt with my awkward date) and mingle more freely (rather than sticking to one group). I did this at prom, then the only other time similar to this was at our wedding.