Narrowing Down

I might’ve been a little too excited about the concepts in the last entry.

This week has been fun. I received my car back Tuesday afternoon. The engine failed back on January 13th and I have been in a rental car up through June 14th. It was all under warranty and paid for by the manufacturer. It has me unsettled today. It’s harder to shift than I remember and I’m suddenly fearful I’m going to be left unable to shift into reverse gear. I was already aiming to try and get a different car and I will proceed with those plans. I’m aiming for the end of the year. I love cars. I enjoy shopping for cars. It’s just the fear that something will happen suddenly that has my mind trying to produce contingency plans.

In dating, I didn’t have any planned dates but had an impromptu meet-up with one of the two girls I’m texting with currently. She often pet-sits for friends and one of them called her to walk their dogs and they live in my neighborhood. I found out after meeting up that it was by design to meet outside. Being in the dental field the consequences of getting Covid means 2 weeks out of work. I had been pushing to meet for a week now and was distraught going to sleep Wednesday night because she said she wanted my company and it got me excited despite the logic of it not making sense. Now that we have met, it affirms that I wouldn’t pursue anything romantically. It’s the second person that has not used updated pictures on their profile. Like the other person, 5/30 she hasn’t had a relationship in over a year. I want to say, “USE UPDATED PICTURES!” I will not do that. If they want to pretend they’re some version of themselves then more power to them. Going through self-growth and seeing others that have or need to do that… I know how hard it is to look in the mirror. It can be extremely uncomfortable. That said, if you can’t accept yourself in your present state then who will? For clarity there is more to the picture than just pictures. She doesn’t drive. She likes city living. Her longest relationship is shy of 3 years but she wants to have kids. She’s looking at becoming a flight attendant starting in September. I have taken on my tidal waves while she sees it but is too afraid to take on the challenge at this point.

Two weeks ago I had 5 conversations and now only one has the chance at romance. That’s okay because the next handful weekends are busy:
June 18 – Daughters Dance Showcase dress rehearsal
June 25- Daughter’s Dance Showcase
June 27 – Mom’s birthday at a local Zoo and Aquarium
July 2 – Rugged Maniac with friends
July 8 – Start camping trip with my family for the weekend

I also need to start moving, hopefully after that camping trip I will be signing a lease at a new apartment.

The one that is left always seemed the most promising. I’m not sure what she does for a living. I do know that she’s an Aries/Pisces/Leo which matches well with my Gemini/Pisces/Libra. I’ve gotten the impression she can build a case and I can do research. She asks questions and keeps conversation moving forward. In fact, the questions show a little bit of deflection which counters my tendency to want to share my story. If I correctly remember both of us *might* want kids. She also said after I followed up one time, “I was thinking about you this week.” LOVE! Not literally… yet? Who knows??? We both take care of ourselves. We have steady, reliable jobs. Most importantly, self-growth and working through conflicts are something we’re looking for in a relationship.

I’m going to leave off with the thought that relationships are like a set of pendulums and the challenge is getting them to sync up just enough to make it work; timing is everything.