Mother’s Day and Failing
I have a love hate relationship with Mother’s Day. After the age of 11 and moving away from Burien to Auburn, I don’t remember it being a day I enjoyed celebrating. Her behavior in perpetuating disapproval of my widower grandfather getting remarried, having my dad drive down to AZ to check out jobs, and totally devaluing my feelings about all of that… I had enough. Out of obligation I will deliver a card and gift of her favorite dessert, but that’s all. I hope to spend almost no time there.
She Facebook messaged me earlier in the week and Twin responded. I would’ve only put it off for a day or two. It takes me awhile to sort out my emotions and water it down into something stripped of feelings.
Twin enlightened me the other day that her brother, LG is on pace to not graduate. He’s failing in English and two other subjects. Twin rashly wants to chew him out and say she considers people who don’t graduate HS losers, and he’ll be one. I initially think that way because I invisibly went through school drawing during class and earning high honors… but let’s put on our psychology hats:
It’s a sign of something deeper going on, I think. I imagine there are things going on at school that he gets emotionally wrapped up in and doesn’t tell anyone. It seems all the Pisceans I know are struggling right now, though LMP does have a job now. Still, the waters are murky and unfortunately I don’t understand emotions all that well. LG’s Jeep was vandalized with “FAG” all over not long ago. I said then I think there may be some issues that come out of that event. Is this behavior what I was alluding to? He is usually very well behaved, and hasn’t had this much trouble with grades before. He also said to his mom that he’d move out of the house in a heartbeat. We all know he can’t handle his finances well so that would be a bomb waiting to explode figuratively.
I think he needs to see a therapist. I’m not trained to help someone that’s emotionally driven. I can support Twin emotionally because I know she prefers logic. There might be an intervention this weekend… and I will probably think this out further privately.
I know it’s a private matter, but I’m curious to see how that turns out. Hopefully you guys can get thru to him.
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ryn: thank you for the encouragement and all that. To answer your question, D’s birthday is October 19th, so he’s a Libra.
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your views on mother’s day mirror mine of father’s day. just not really a day i tend to remember or enjoy much. hopefully Twin’s brother can get things back in order….perhaps summer school to graduate? best of luck to him, sounds like he’s dealing with some personal demons.
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Woah. That’s some big stuff happening with LG. poor guy, I am sure he is struggling with being bullied, hence failing school. There are options, he can go to a tutor and make up the credits. Unfortunately it’s not a cheap route, but if he’s interested there is a school called Chrysalis in Woodinville that could bring him back to speed. Highschool is so difficult. Emotionally mentally, sometimes physically…. Kids are mean.
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I hope he gets it straightened out b/c the greatest way to empower yourself is through education. RYN: I was actually thinking of you as I was writing my entry (about my mom) b/c I think we have similar thoughts/views about our mothers. I like the term you wrote too, “devaluing my feelings” which my mother is grand at…& making her feelings more important.
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and even if your sister doesnt agree with you, I do and understand. Im living it too. Im sure I will fail my kids in other ways, but I will never treat them as if they dont count, dont matter and as if they are less than human.
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ryn: they’re all scottish folds, which is why all but one have folded ears. the one with straight ears is still scottish fold though. i’m not sure what other breed they’re mixed with but we’re big fans of long-haired cats in our house, just gotta keep up on the brushing and vacuuming.
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Mother’s day is the worst day of the year for me…but yesterday wasn’t too bad at all, thankfully. I hope LG hangs in there to pull off graduation, even if only by the skin of his teeth. It is a major blow not to graduate high school, but I don’t necessarily agree that those people are “losers”. That’s a bit harsh and very much a blanket statement. People usually have reasons behind their actions and I think those should always be taken into account.
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I’ve always had huge family values and am super family oriented with traditions. I was raised that way. However my sister who was bounced between her Dad and my Mom is quite opposite and will just go wherever she will get the most attention. She’s stupid. I think when you have your own children things will change and it will mean more to you. Making breakfast in bed for mommy with the kids, trying to do it quietly.. the crafts.. the flowers.. the little things to put a smile on her face… It’s different than it being your own mother. Something about showing your kids how it’s done and the excitement it brings them is the best part. Mothers Day is nice but for me it’s for the kids just as much 🙂
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