Work, home and marriage…

So anyway, this work thing. Started on 9th October. It’s now 21st April the following year. That means I’ve pretty much been in it for six months. I should be getting a raise in this month’s pay packet, which must surely mean I’m doing well, and I’m far more confident at it than I was when I wrote my last entry. I wouldn’t say I enjoy it, but I don’t dislike it – and certainly not at the minute. Y’see, since we’re a fire manufacturer, we’re busiest in the winter months. Now that we’re finally heading into spring and summer, business is dying down a little. That gives me some time here and there to focus on what does make me happy (work-wise): writing.
Though that’s only been possible the past week, so I haven’t really got into it again yet. I do need to work more on finding time to write. It’s been a long, long time – pretty much since I started this job.
Now that things have settled down again I need to make time for writing. I had slipped into the routine of getting home and ‘relaxing’ – playing games and watching TV. That’s a bad habit, which I need to avoid slipping into again; when I spend all my time relaxing I get nothing achieved. I get into the mindset that work = life, which is a terrible way to think. I may have to leave for work at twenty to nine, and not get in until quarter past five, Monday to Friday, but that still gives me from quarter past five until I go to bed around midnight to do something productive. Sure it’s nice to relax and watch TV, and it’s fun to play games, but I can also have a lot of fun writing, and it’s a far more productive use of my time. After all, if I don’t write I won’t get published, and now that I’ve got a wife, getting published is my next goal.

The run up to the wedding was a blur, with a lot to organise and people coming and going, helping with last minute wedding preparation – and moving us from our flat into our new house.

The move took a lot of visits and phone calls to arrange – first finding a place to move to (which my girl handled), then getting a viewing and – the big one – securing the place. It’s rental, so it was easier to organise than a buy would’ve been, but there were quite a few panicky moments as we rushed to get our offer in first. Thankfully we did that – owing a lot to my parents for giving us the deposit money as a pre-wedding gift – and we got the move-in day set for the weekend before the wedding.
My girl’s friend and bridesmaid came through for a few days over and on the run up to that weekend to help us with packing and moving (as well as to get her mind off her ex-boyfriend for a while) and we got all the paperwork signed then came to the house to get the keys and start moving some things in.

That night my girl and I rushed to decide on our music choices for the wedding reception DJ and got to bed late on our last night in the flat.

Next morning we were up bright and early and getting the last of our things packed up, ready for my dad and brother-in-law to load into a van. The move itself went smoothly – all our things were moved without damage, our new sofa was delivered without problems and the flat was left in better condition than it was received in, so we got our full deposit back a few days later.

The rest of the week before the wedding is a blur to me. We wandered around the town centre, so my girl could get her bearings, and we took a couple of shopping trips to pick up little things for the kitchen and bathroom, and then it was the Thursday, and my mum came through to see the house and help us get all the wedding stuff to the venue, which went more smoothly than I’d expected it to. After that the only things I had to get the venue on the morning of the wedding were the cake, my best man (and cousin) James and the cake. Or maybe I should say it was James’ job to get the cake and me there – that’s part of a best man’s duty, after all. Plus he was doing the driving.
The Thursday night we met up with my girl’s youngest brother and mum and together we all went for a meal.

Mid morning on the Friday my girl and her bridesmaid went for some pampering with my girl’s mum and I was left to play games and wait for James to arrive. Mid afternoon the bridesmaid came back to finish up the cake (which she made from scratch, and stressed over a lot – we had tears at one point), so James and I helped her to get the icing and dowling rods on and in, ready for ribboning and stacking. I think James’ cheery demeanour helped to calm bridesmaid a little, since there was laughter rather than tears and everything was fine in the end. And once that was done bridesmaid could disappear again, to meet with my girl and get her to the hotel near the venue, leaving James and I free to wind down.

That night we went for a meal with my family – parents, sisters & their partners and niece – then James and I picked up some junk food and came back to the house to play games into the night.

Next morning at half eight I woke up and got my speech down on paper, showered and started checking I had everything I needed, then by nine James got up and showered, and by half nine we were both downstairs in pants and t-shirts playing games again.

About quarter past eleven I decided we should probably get ready, as we needed to be at the venue by noon, so we turned off the WiiU and went to get dressed.
It was about ten to twelve when we had everything ready – clothes all on, shoes shined, rings and speeches in pockets, cake in the car – and with slow and careful driving, we were at the venue by five past.

When I arrived I left James with the cake, around the back of the venue, and I went around to the front to find Simon (who was the boss at the venue on the day) and get the service door open, so we could bring the cake in.
Naturally I couldn’t do that without bumping into guests, so I was stopped by everyone I passed – including a stressed mother, who tried to wrangle me away with everyone else before I could even get the service door open for James.
I kept my cool explaining that to her and we got the cake in, then I chatted to Simon for a minute or two, before walking down the road from the venue to a pub. Most all of the guests went in and my mum got drinks for them all, while I stood outside with James wondering where my dad was. I could have asked my mum while I walked with her to the pub, but I could tell she was stressed and felt like if I did ask her that’d only get worse.
I also had in my mind that we’d put together 30mins of music for the venue to play while we were waiting for my girl to arrive, and if they were all down the pub they wouldn’t hear any of it. So I left it ’til about twenty-five to one before letting my mum know I was heading back up to the venue.

When I got there the registrar and her colleague were there, so they asked me the usual questions – name, date of birth, occupation, father’s name and occupation. Thankfully my dad arrived at that point, and he could tell them his official job title – which I doubt I’ll ever remember. Once that was done I sort of milled around–I wouldn’t say I paced, but some might have seen it that way–while it transpired that the music that should’ve been playing wasn’t working on the venue’s sound system (which left me convinced that the walking-down-the-aisle music wouldn’t play either, and my girl would enter to complete silence), my little sister was feeling too ill (or nervous perhaps) to do the reading we’d asked her to (so my older sister had to step in to do that at the last minute), the witnesses needed to sit on the stage and bridesmaid had to sit with my girl’s family (which none of them were aware of) and finally the cuddly toy we got for my niece to hold when walking down the aisle had been left at the hotel – none of them disasters, but none of them part of the plan, either.
When it came to the cuddly toy, I shrugged that off as not a big deal, since in my head all I could think was ‘the CD won’t play; my girl’s gonna be mortified that everyone’s staring at her and there’s complete silence’. The waiting-for-the-bride music had played for a few minutes, but then started jumping and cut out, which only compounded my worries. Plus by that point I was also worrying that I was told “we’ll get started in a minute” about ten minutes ago. I’d been stood there facing the front, with my head bowed and my hands behind my back, hoping that my girl wouldn’t be upset that things had changed/gone wrong, and time was dragging out. I started giving glances to my mum and dad with a ‘taking their time’ vibe behind them, then looking back over my shoulder at the entrance and seeing nothing, then checking the time on my phone.
At one point the walking-down-the-aisle music started, and I thought it was about to begin, but after a second the music stopped again. It was like a false start, and I was starting to get stressed. Then Simon walked down the aisle, told me my girl was here and ready to get started, shook my hand and wished me luck.
After that he went up on stage and announced for everyone to stand and the walking-down-the-aisle music began to play.

I wasn’t sure if I should, but I turned to see anyway, and there was my brother-in-law walking down the aisle with my niece, followed by my girl and her brother, then her bridesmaid. I told myself to accept my girl’s hand first and then worry about telling her brother and bridesmaid where to sit, and there was some confusion with the bridesmaid for a second, but thankfully it was only a second. I held my girl’s hand as she stepped up onto the stage–since, another worry, the floor was shined to a slippery finish at the foot of the steps–and the three of us took our seat for it all to begin.
From then on I don’t think I let go of my girl’s hand. We kept looking at each other and smiling throughout the ceremony, and perhaps because of that, most of it is now a blur. When the registrar asked if anyone had any objections to the ceremony going ahead I scowled across the guests, which got a chuckle, and we had the rings in a pokéball, which also got a chuckle. My older sister’s reading seemed a bit flat to me–perhaps because I’d wanted my little sister to do it–and one of my aunties did the other reading, which was really good (even if it did lose some of its effect because she was crying her eyes out). After that there’s not much else I can recall. We had a big kiss when it finished, then signed the register and got some pictures, during which the signing-the-register music played for a few minutes before skipping and stopping.
Thankfully that was the last of the music problems; with the register signed we could leave the venue. The leaving music played perfectly and we all piled out to the front of the venue for more photos. The weather was lovely (despite it snowing the week – even the day before), the bubbles (instead of confetti) went down well and we got the pictures we wanted.

The meal was good and the speeches went down well (and without stress). We then went and took some more pictures (including throwing the key from our now-interlocked heart-shaped locks into the nearby canal) while the rest of the guests took part in some games and an Easter egg hunt.
In the evening the DJ played all the songs we wanted and my girl and I had a blast. Phil and Hannah (two of my friends from uni) came to the night do, and along with the bridesmaid we spent most of the time dancing.

A lot of people have said how much they enjoyed the ceremony, how personal it was, and how happy we look together, which is lovely. Lots of people said how good the DJ was, and how fun the evening was, too, which I’m less inclined to believe. It was mostly just Phil, Hannah, bridesmaid, my girl and I dancing, while for the most part everyone else stayed sat down. I’m fine with that though; maybe everyone really did have fun, and even if they didn’t, I did, and my girl did, and our three friends did, so it’s all good.

It’d actually been years since I’d seen either Phil or Hannah. In fact I hadn’t seen Phil since graduation in 2006. He got pretty emotional, as we were talking. He welled up when I showed him the ring on my finger. He is an emotional person, but I didn’t really expect that from him. I definitely didn’t expect it from Hannah, and definitely didn’t get it – she was her usual giggly self, chatting away as if she’d just walked across the hall from her room to mine to talk.
They said we should meet up again soon, and hopefully we will – it was cool to hang out with them, and both my girl and bridesmaid seemed to get along well with them. At the time I did think about inviting them around to the house the following day, but when it came to the next day we just wanted to spend it together, relaxing.

The week after the wedding I was off work and we got lots of new furniture ordered, ate lots of junk and had lots of fun. Since going back to work two weeks ago, we’ve both been trying to get into new routines. I’ve been trying to get back into writing – as I said above. My girl’s been working on her own project, which hopefully she’ll get lots of enjoyment from, and may even make some money out of.

Pretty soon we’ll need to sort out our thank you cards for our guests and should make an effort to travel through to my family to hand them out and have a chat. Especially with my auntie who did the reading, since I’m sure she’s probably paranoid we think it didn’t go well. That’s possibly something for next weekend, but more likely something for the weekend after. The weekend after that is FA Cup Final weekend, and my dad has got a chance of two tickets for it – so I need to decide whether we can afford for me to travel down to Wembley, and whether I want to spend a full day away from my girl – my wife, I should say. I think I’ll go – I think I’ve earned a treat. But on the other hand, I do need to save up for a new computer – I’m currently using my wife’s old desktop, which she got rid of for a new laptop, because my desktop blew up.
It was on its way out anyway, it just seems the PSU gave out on it before the graphics card did. A new desktop will set us back about £500, give or take. So if I want it this year I need to put money away each month. I just need to decide now whether the memory of going to an FA Cup Final (and hopefully seeing City lift the trophy) is worth more to me than a shiny new desktop I can play games on without it crashing every five minutes.

Decisions, decisions.