got my 2nd rejection…

So anyway, twenty-three eighteen. My girl and I will probably saunter off to bed about midnight. Snuggle for a bit. Maybe I’ll nom on her neck and drive her crazy again. We’ll see.

We read a story (or the bits that are written thereof) that my sister’s fiancé’s mum is writing a few nights back, and today we finally got around to sending her some feedback.

I feel bad thinking it–and obviously worse saying it–but I actually feel more confident about my own writing when I see the level she’s at. The way she talks (well writes – we only communicate through e-mail) about it, I got the impression she was really into writing, and wanted to make a real go of it. The way she actually writes though, it’s probably in the fanfic range of the goodness scale. Mid to high within the fanfic range, so not really bad, but not good.

It’s not something I can explain really, but I find a lot of stuff people write–this story, for example, and stuff on the roleplay site my girl and I (used to) run–is clumsy and flat.

When I write I see the action unfolding in my head, which helps me to keep things realistic. I guess some people don’t see it unfolding, and so they end up with something that feels forced – staged. They don’t seem to think about what each and every character is doing – they only seem to think about the POV character (if there is one) and how they’re affected by the people around them. For example, in this story we read, there was a scene when the POV character was rushing from school when class finished – quick to flee the teacher and all the other students. Then, next thing you know, one of the other students from the class is pushing her against the wall. So it’s like, ‘how did the bully get here? She was back in the classroom. Did she teleport or something?’

That’s a “big picture” mistake I see a lot of people make. There’s also an issue with small, technical aspects of writing, which a lot of people don’t get right. I have no idea how or why I get them right, since I didn’t learn about writing in any formal setting – I just seem to know when something reads badly. But when I see mistakes, I want to correct them.

It’s pretty weak, but as an example “is it time to eat, Tom?” and “is it time to eat Tom?” are saying completely different things, and yet some people wouldn’t put the comma in there. Keep the sentence structure but change the words to “what time is it, Tom?” and some writers are even less likely to put the comma in, because they see no reason for it. But it is needed.

Best way I can think to explain it is that it’s about the beats in the sentence. It’s about it sounding right. And in order to sound right, it has to be written right, because the writing is telling you how it should be read. It’s not about open interpretation. Punctuation marks–including hyphens–should dictate the way something is read, and so said, in order that it makes sense. People should use them more. Especially people aspiring to be authors.

At the same time as using punctuation marks more, I should note that, unless a question is being asked, (including rhetorical ones,) a question mark should not be used. That’s something I didn’t note in the feedback I sent. Even though it is really annoying?

Anyway, twenty-three forty-nine. Time for me to proof read this and then turn to my girl and ask “bedtime?”