And the cycle continues….

Uggh, I’ve had a headache for three days and it’s really getting old!  I think they’re common at this point in pregnancy for me, so I’ll just have to grin and bear it a while.

 
It was quite apparent yesterday that I could no longer fit in my regular work shirts. =) I’m at the awkward stage where my old clothes are too tight on the belly and not covering it well without me pulling down the front of my shirt all day, but I’m swimming in my maternity shirt.  I’m wearing one today and it looks like I’m wearing a shirt that is way too long, lol.  Oh well.  It’s getting bigger and bigger so that will pass soon as well.
 
Bryan told me yesterday that he wants us to go to the restaurant his mom is a waitress at on Mother’s Day so she can see Emily and he can give her a card and flowers.  I don’t know if that will happen just because we’re going out to breakfast with my family that morning…but I could make it happen if I really wanted to.  I’m just so f-ing confused about it, honestly.  He had written his parents off.  They made it quite clear they wanted nothing to do with Emily if it involved any effort on their part (like driving 10 minutes to her birthday party, which they refused to do).  I can’t even remember the last time we saw them.  They didn’t send a card or call on Bryan’s birthday, no contract for Thanksgiving or Christmas or any of he holidays. 
 
I have to admit it’s just been nice without the drama associated with them.  The last time his father saw Emily was when we brought her to their porch when she was an infant, not even able to lift her head.  We brought her to the restaurant a few times for his mom to see her, but his mom didn’t seem all that interested, honestly.  Emily wanted nothing to do with her because she doesn’t know her and I think that hurt her feelings..but that’s not our fault.  We tried so many times to get them to meet us places close to them to see her, but they refuse because they think we’re ridiculous to not want to bring her in their smoke-laden house.  So they are standing their ground.  The smoke isn’t the only issue.  His father is an alcoholic and WILL drink while we are there, so it’s just not an environment Bryan or I want her in.
 
He had been so angry for his parents for like a year.  They don’t even know we’re having another baby.  They don’t speak at all.  They called him angry right after Christmas because Bryan had told his grandma that his sister had been in jail and they didn’t want her to know.  Bryan eventually asked if they wanted to come see their only grandchild for the holidays (we were 10 minutes away) and they said not unless we bring her there.  So he hung up and they haven’t spoken since.  Now he wants to show up and give her flowers and a card and let her see his daughter they don’t give two shits about?  I was dumbfounded when he brought it up and kind of stumbled over my words, saying I think we’re going out with my family that morning.  I mean, I don’t want to make him feel bad about it…I just don’t understand AT ALL.  And I think it’s hard for him to even bring up the fact he wants to go see her because he knows it’s ridiculous..but it was important enough to bring it up to me, I suppose.
 
What would you do?  In all fairness, we could swing by his mom’s work before we went to breakfast with my family probably.  And it’s not like it will hurt or harm Emily.  She has no idea who she is.  It’s my pride and that I don’t feel like she deserves to see her.  My daughter is SO amazing and so beautiful and they CHOSE to not be a part of her life. I’ve always known it was for the best in the end just because of how they are, but it always shocked me they didn’t care about her.  I can’t fathom it.  Bryan could go by himself, but I know he wants his mom to see her, if not to just show her off.
 
<div style="font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); “>UGH.  I hate them.  I hate we have to deal with it.  I hate there are people like that who exist.  Not just because of this obviously.  There’s a huge background of physical and emotional abuse, alcohol/drugs…the worst part being his father is the biggest asshole I have ever met.  I seriously didn’t know evil like him existed.  And Bryan’s mom will always be on his father’s side, no matter what she loses and how miserable she is.  Because believe me, she is miserable.  We visit her 93-year-old father once a month who is in very poor health and she isn’t allowed to come see him and hasn’t for years.  He will die without seeing his daughter.  And they have a great relationship!  She’s just not allowed to have speak with him or come see him.  We offered her to come live with us, as has several family members, and she refuses to leave him.  And it will cost her everything.
 
So I don’t know what will happen.  If we go they will start having phone contact again and Bryan will get his hopes up for the millionth time that they’ll give a damn about him and his family, then when it’s made perfectly clear again that they will never change, he will be let down again.  I don’t know how many times I’ve seen the cycle over the last 8 years.  I just thought he’d had enough…but I get that writing off your parents isn’t easy and you can always see clearly when you’re dealing with family.  *sigh* It’s just a shame because he was so let down by them after Emily was born and here we have another child on the way, right in time for him to try to mend things with them and be let down again in the way that hurt him the most.  You’d think the fact he sees his crooked nose in the mirror everyday because his father broke it when he was a kid would be unforgivable enough, but the thing that put him over the edge was when they didn’t care about his child.  And they aren’t going to give a crap about the next one either.
 
Sorry, I know I haven’t bitched about them in a while because I wasn’t having to deal with them!  But I do realize this is probably going to go on as long as they live. And lord knows they’ll live forever probably.  I don’t know how his father is even functioning any longer.
 
So, happy Mother’s Day to me? Lol.  I know it will only be a few minutes of the day if we do go, but it’s just a beginning to the cycle.
 
So there’s my pity party for the day. =) I am very excited to spend Mother’s Day with my mom and sister though, the best mommies I know!  I’m reminded almost daily how lucky I am to have them. =)
 
~Sheralyn