elections

I realized that I dont really have many friends. I don’t have people who would come to my aid at the drop of a hat. In fact, absolutely no one other than Mark would do that. But I do it for all of them. I’m like everyone’s mommy. You never think about helping your mommy.

That’s not true, when I was little I was positive that it was my job to take care of my mommy. I was more humble then than I am now. When I was 6 I believed that I would never be good enough, that I could never be kind enough, that the well of love and devotion would never run dry. I still believe that, but unlike my six year old self I don’t strive towards it anyway. Knowing that I’ll never be good enough means I don’t try as hard, knowing that I can never reach the maximum level of forgiving and kindness means I do it less.

I don’t like that about myself. I’m going to try and let my 6 year old view of the world come back a little. less judgement, more learning. Less fighting, more breathing. . . .and so on.This song that I hear sometimes in church makes me cry:

THE SERVANT SONG

1. Brother, let me be your servant.
Let me be as Christ to you.
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant, too.

2. We are pilgrims on a journey.
We are brothers on the road.
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load.

3. I will hold the Christ-light for you
In the night time of your fear.
I will hold my hand out to you;
Speak the peace you long to hear.

4. I will weep when you are weeping.
When you laugh, I’ll laugh with you.
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we’ve seen this journey through.

5. When we sing to God in heaven,
We shall find such harmony
Born of all we’ve known together
Of Christ’s love and agony.

(Repeat Verse #1)

I really should get to a chiropracter. My neck is hurting more and more everyday.

kiss the frog!