DAd’s day

Happy Father’s day. I’shallow bitch. I have the tools to find my genetic father. Even a business card. But I’m scared. 

What if he is ugly? 

what if I’m carrying his super ugly genes? What if he has a small dick? What if he has a small ugly dick? No, it’s not that I care personally. It’ll never touch me. But what about my potential sons? What if I’m carrying small ugly dick genes? If I gave that to my son I could never forgive myself. He’d have an ugly dick for life. so sad. 

What if he is beautiful? What if he is so fantastically handsome that it inspires me to have babies RIGHT FUCKING NOW. . . Can you imagine how beautiful my babies could be? especially if mark is the father? 

what if he’s dead? What if he is an idiot? What if he likes Rebecca Black? What if he has kids of his own? 

What if he’s rich? 

What if he’s ugly?

kiss the frog!