Returning from AWOL

I know I haven’t written in forever, just haven’t felt like it, been in a slump.

So, some updates:

1. Still trying to figure out if I can go to grad school and get my doctorate. I have until July to decide, that’s when I’d HAVE to register for fall classes. It’s a money thing. We are on just Art’s income and the tuition would be $3000 a semester, that’s $3000 every four months, excluding summer of course. We DON’T have that extra laying around, it would have to come out of our inheritance/retirement savings/stocks. Not sure if we want to-or should-dip into that. So…don’t know what we’ll do yet…but most likely I’ll put it off since we don’t have the money.

2. Which brings me to #2. I feel God leading us to adopt again, plus I really feel like it would do Lexi good. She’s not spoiled, but she is the center of attention All. The. Time. Especially when it’s me, Art and grandma and grandpa. One little kid is able to have four adults doing her bidding, admiring her every move. I don’t think that’s so healthy. Plus, she loves other kids and is always trying to give pacifiers to friends’ babies and take care of them. BUT, when I try to hold friends’ babies, she gets very upset, and says, "baby down, baby down! my mommy!" so maybe she’s just not ready for a sib. But adopting again is a money issue as well. Adopting again would cost the same as getting my doctorate. We don’t think we can swing both, unless we empty our savings. Again, not what we want to do.

While I don’t really want to be in that newborn stage again, I do get kind of excited about another baby. Art, however, is SO not into it. He does NOT want another child. At all. So, there we are.

3. Which brings me to Lexi’s current bad ass-ness. She’s almost two months into being two and OH MY GOSH SOMEONE TELL ME SHE IS NORMAL AND THIS WILL PASS BECAUSE I’M SERIOUSLY AT MY WITS END MOST DAYS. Every little thing is a battle, even things she wants to do. Every time I say no-like to candy for breakfast or running in the street-she whines and throws a little tantrum; and it’s this annoying, loud, "wah wah wah" kind of whine and she knows she’s doing it and that its fake. If I tell her to stop, she’ll pout, but usually will stop. She even says to me, "I want to have a tantrum" and then proceeds to do just that. I feel like my whole day is "No, stop, don’t".

And the defiance! After getting her hands dirty at a museum I told her not to put her hands in her mouth (which she’s been doing lately as her two year molars are coming in). She looks right at me, sticks out her tongue and rubs her hands all over her tongue as if she’s saying, "well, I didn’t put them IN my mouth." Once I told her not to pull the pig tail elastics out of her hair, again, she looked right at me and moved her hand reeeeallllly slowly toward her pig tails then giggled and put her hands down. What do I do with this? Ignore? Punish? Laugh?

She’s also really into making weird sounds lately: screeching, howling, talking in funny voices. Sometimes its hilarious, sometimes its downright annoying.

But, with all of this toddler drama, I still wouldn’t change who she is and am still so blessed to be her mama.

I just want to know how to handle it better!

4. We went on a cruise to Bermuda for my 40th birthday. It was nice, but cold-wouldn’t do Bermuda this early in the year again. And I also learned a few things. a) a vacation with a toddler isn’t really a vacation. it’s the same stuff as at home (naps, diapers, early bed times, trying to stop them from climbing everything, no time to myself) just with better scenery. b) take more diapers than you think will need. and then take more. I took way more diapers than she goes through in a week and we ran out the 2nd to last day of the cruise. That was thanks to, after 3 days of constipation, a poop explosion with bowel movements pretty much every hour for two days. The last two days of the cruise she was in swim diapers because that’s all we had. c) cruises don’t sell diapers in the toiletries shop. d)I think Lexi fed her weight in Cheerios to the fish as her favorite thing was tossing them over the balcony while saying, "come and get it, fishies!" It was adorable.

5. Settling into spring, ramping up for summer. That’s about it!