M.O.M.

Moments of Motherhood that I never saw coming:

1. When your almost two year old refuses to let you go to the bathroom by yourself so follows you in there. And you have to change your pad and your toddler sees you doing so and says, "Mommy’s diaper!"

2. When your almost two year old learns how to unzip her coat, so going anywhere outside is a battle of :child unzips coat-mom rezips it while saying, "it’s cold, leave it zipped"-child unzips coat…..and repeat. Endlessly.

3. That your child will eat her way through the grocery store. Grapes in the produce aisle, a piece of cheese (or for my kid, pepperoni) at the deli counter, animal crackers in the cookie aisle, sips of juice from a pack of juice boxes in the cart, samples of whatever they are handing out. And then thinking, "hey, could this count as lunch…..?" and then thinking, "wait, does that make me a bad mom?"

4. Searching out every restaurant that has a "kids’ night" or "family night" in your area. And going to them. All of them. For the free kids’ meal and the balloons and the toy that’s handed out. And then calling that "entertainment."

5. Actually truly enjoying the family nights at restaurants with your little one much more than you enjoyed expensive, frou frou dinners with a date. And feeling your heart warm at that thought.

6. That kid food could be so…..addictive. Mac ‘n Cheese, chicken nuggets, PB&J. When you eat the leftovers of your kids’ meals, doesn’t the taste just bring you back to your own childhood?

7. That dressing my kid would be so fun! True, I have a daughter and there is a ton of cute stuff out there for girls. I no longer spend money on clothes for myself, I’d rather my kid look cute. And you know you are there when you contemplate the most adorable Easter dress you ever saw at an outrageous price….and your kid will only wear it once. Or spill pizza on it. Or both.

8. That your parents become completely different people when transformed into "grandma" and "grandpa." They become goofy and sentimental and spoil your child rotten. And you love to watch it. And then wonder, "hey, why didn’t I get in on any of this when I was a kid?" 

9. That "mommy guilt" and "mommy responsibility" would be so huge. I never expected to obsess over every toy I buy or whether I let my child watch a video (gasp!) and whether that will harm her chances at getting into Harvard. Because, you know, it IS all about what I, as the mom, do. At least that’s what society tells me. And how when your toddler is going through the hitting phase and just randomly hitting people you feel like it’s all YOUR fault.

10. That you could love another person so completely that you’d actually be willing to die for them; that you wish you could take every sickness and injury onto yourself to spare your child. That your heart would be so full sometimes, you feel it will burst.