Things That Aren’t Happening
So, I haven’t been very active on OD lately, mostly because I’m so swamped with schoolwork that there haven’t really been any life developments worth mentioning in the diary.
I haven’t talked to Robin in over a month now so that little pitiful romance attempt is pretty definitively over. I’m fairly sure that I exaggerated the situation both in my head and on the diary – even though I was consistently saying on OD that it wasn’t going anywhere, just that I wrote about it as much as I did implies that I had more hope for it than it really deserved. At any rate, it’s over with now, no reason you should ever see Robin’s name in the diary again, really.
Meanwhile, the Europe trip I was planning with Kate is pretty much cancelled too. She just can’t afford it financially and I’m not really that interested in going alone. I don’t know, I don’t think I ever really expected it to actually happen – these kinds of things have a tendency not to work out for me. I’m hoping maybe I can still salvage some sort of mini-trip after I graduate and before I start up at work full-time. Granted, it won’t be a 3-week trip to Europe, but hopefully I’ll at least manage something.
Speaking of “after I graduate” that’s still rather in doubt, though I think I will be ok if I can manage a decent grade on the Advanced Accounting exam I have on Thursday (though given my earlier performance, I’m still on shaky ground). I really did get myself in a little over my head in grad school though – transferring to a much more difficult school and advancing to graduate level studies at the same time probably wasn’t such a great idea in hindsight. I just don’t have nearly as strong of a educational background as most of the rest of the students. Still, I don’t know that it was really a bad idea to come here as the education will probably be useful to me in the future, but it’d probably have been a better idea to have just started at a stronger university to begin with. Anyway, I just hope I graduate.
And hopefully my next entry will actually be about things that are happening instead of things that aren’t.
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random noter: I know that feeling all too well. I hope you can salvage some type of trip, too…it definitely sounds like you need a break.
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I don’t live in Georgia, at least not yet. I am attempting to move to atlanta with a friend in the fall, though…UGA was one of my grad school choices, back when I still really wanted to go..but these days my mind changes every day.
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I’m sure you’ll graduate. You only have a little more to go and then you’ll be done. You just have to push through it. I agree with the random noter. You do sound as though you need a break. I would take you to Europe with me, but you want to go about a year sooner than I plan to. Perhaps when I go you’ll be able to do a vacation. 🙂 Anyway, to answer you okcupid thing…..
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..I deleted them earlier this week. When I answered them I was still in that crazy mode with Justin and wasn’t really myself. So I figured I would just change them all. It’s a drastic change, actually. I also am trying to step away from the internet dating thing because it’s not working out to a point where I am getting very frustrated. I’ll be writing about it, no worries. It’s boring stuff, tho.
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what loose ends?
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You should still go…my mom went to Europe by herself twice and still thinks it was better than sitting at home and thinking how lame it was in be in Europe alone. It’s still better than being here!
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RYN: Lolfr. Seriously. Sigh. That’s why I love my Mattdaddy.
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Of course you had hopes. Erm…that’s all. I mean, it’s natural for desperate folk like you and I to hope for any chance that comes along, large or small. So… I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but she sounded really boring anyway. xoxox
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Eeeeek Savvy used lolfr!!! Going to Europe alone would totally freak me out. I hope you don’t give up on awesome trips with Erin just because she couldn’t afford it and in a way ‘turned you down’ as you are apt to do with girls who do such things… Wait. Did I call you last night? ~I’ll be
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I’m still glad you wrote, I was missing you.
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can you call Robin again, meet up again? Do you actually want to? Yeah, me and hunter have been talking bullshit about doing eastern europe with a rail pass for about 4 years, we have yet to have cash and stability at the same time. You sound down. I dunno. Maybe everything just sounds down to me. you ok?
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actually, i think europe alone would be more fun than traveling with someone else. read bill bryson’s “neither here nor there.” it made me want to see europe alone. i’m reading “in a sunburned country” now, and saving to go to australia/nz.
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ryn: If I didn’t want to talk to you, I wouldn’t pick up the phone, dork.
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Stop being pessimistic, Matt! You didn’t get in over your head. You just have to push yourself harder then you had to before and that’s actually a good thing. You’re working hard and it’s going to pay off in the end because you are going to graduate. Cheer up!
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RYN: That’s fine. I’m just looking forward to talking to you. It’s been way too long and I really miss our talks.
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I love when things ARE’NT happening…lol. Thanks for your note.
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It is probably possible to have sex without love. I’m well aware of that. Its funny because we never actually had sex…I just couldnt do it because I was/am a virgin…we just did everything else. What was frustrating with him was that he knew the entire time that I wanted to be with him. He told me he liked me, but I think in my head I knew differently. I’m glad he finally told me, it just sucks
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RYN: Nothing happened. Which is ridiculous. I just never heard from him again. It’s been almost two weeks. He’s never signed back in to OKCupid, and he’s not been online on AIM that I can see. It was all very upsetting, but I’m done with it. I’ve stopped looking.
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I’d tell you to come and I’d plan it but I’m poor now after a year of being here, but someday maybe. People tell me I am the best traveller. I claim it’s my small size, but who knows. I wanted to call you today, but didn’t. Because I’m poor.
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I’m not punishing myself. My health and my nightmares and my dead people are there already. I just don’t think I should remove it, even though I’ve found a way to remove it all, it’s all there for a reason, and I need to remember. I said to SW, I don’t think it’s different, I don’t think John should be on smack either, for all I love him.
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Yes, Matt, I’m one of those girls. But hey, I think you should know that every time I read one of Heather’s notes to you, I feel like she’s really full of herself. Is that an accurate analyzation or am I interpreting it that way because of what you’ve told me? I don’t know. You tell me.
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ryn: This is the first time that this has happened to me. That I can remember anyway. I’ll know better next time.
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added 🙂
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ryn: you’re right, almost. i’m afraid you misinterpreted my meaning. i meant YOUR life is too short to be subjected to having to read my lame entries.
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I think you should still to go to Europe. You might meet someone over there. All though to be honest, I’d be scared to go by myself. Maybe take one of your online friends.
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RYN: Yeah, kind of weird how that happens.
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I heard. Kind of a bummer lol. I’m NEVER thinking it’s him EVER again. EVER. He sucks.
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You’ve stopped writing. Yeah, I guess I knew he would snap. The way he was talking about his mum was fucking breaking me up, I remember how that felt with Tim, not knowing if someone who’s probably dead was actually dead, and it doesn’t make it easier if you hate them.
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You and Kyle were cute, but I always said that.
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