The Geek Scale

So, I am bored on a Sunday morning.

Meanwhile, one of my adored diarists, Dekcol, created a scale to figure out how much of a geek a person is. I’m sure there could be lots of quibbling over whether these qualifications truly meet the definition of “geek,” but I think it does a pretty good job of capturing the term as society at large defines it. That said, if anyone has any complaints about the categories, complain to her, not me.

Because Dekcol’s scoring system confused me slightly, I’m treating this as a 0-100 scale. 10 possible points for each category.

Scoring for each category:  

00: NOT a geek.
10: FULL fledged geek

2) Categories that make up a geek.

1. Plays videogames 
   There’s different levels of this, too– on a scale of 1-10, 10 in THIS category would be defined as someone who:
   -is always playing a game, the way I imagine someone who reads a lot always has a pending book, 
   -knows when new games are coming out, 
   -has some kind of an X-Box/Playstation account (I do realize most people who play the complicated games have this)
   -collects games the way an avid movie watcher collects DVDs/Blurays, 
   -has some ideas for at least one videogame

I don’t really like video games – I played them a lot as a kid, but the last gaming system I purchased is an N64. It still is hooked up to my current tv. Playing video games at this point in my life is entirely social for me, I haven’t sat down and played a video game alone for years.

Points: I’ll give myself .5, just for the fact that I do technically play video games occasionally. Also, due to the fact that historically, when I did play video games, they were among the geekiest video games one could possibly play (text-based sports simulations for the win!)
 

1. Knows computers/technology
   A 10 in this category would be defined as someone who:
   -People go to for computer advice/tips when something is up with their computer
   -Has a job or a hobby related to programming and um… java… and uh, defragging… um, that thing where you separate a computer so you can switch operating systems… (HAHA, this should prove I know nothing about computers haha)
   -Other computery things that I’m not educated enough to know
   -Can talk forever about either loving Apple or hating Apple products

Well, there is at least one of the qualifications that I definitely meet – I am often the pers

on in my office who people go to for computer advice/tips when something is up with their computer. That doesn’t mean that I know the answers usually – I don’t. But surely some geek points should be awarded just for seeming like a guy who must know a lot about computers.

Points: 2.5 There are certain computer programs (Microsoft Excel) that are somewhat technical and that I know well enough that I have taught classes on them, so I probably deserve some points for that. I refuse to go very high though, just because I am probably as clueless about technology in general as any person you will meet my age. I’m constantly annoying Heather with questions like “So what does your IPad do?” to which she responds “I don’t have an IPad Matt, I have an IPod touch” . . . . Seriously, don’t they seem like the same thing?! Well, they do to me.
 

1. Plays role playing games
   You’re a 10 if you play them. Sorry, I just don’t know if I can say someone who plays RPG’s is not a geek. Ever. (P.S. World of Warcraft is an RPG, right? HAHA what!??! I’m serious!!)

If I could award myself negative points I would here, just because I absolutely have no interest whatsoever in role playing games. And it’s not as though I’ve just never really played one because I’m not interested, no. Throughout my life I’ve found myself in social circles (geeks!) who are very interested in role playing games and have constantly tried to get me to play them. And I have never found them anything but incredibly boring. It’s the sort of thing that just has no appeal to me.

Points: 0.
 

1. Fan of Star Wars and/or Star Trek 
   (I do realize the two are vastly different, I can’t help that most "geeks" enjoy one or the other or both)
   A 10 would be someone who:
   -collects or has collected… things related to these two– like action figures, ship models, etc.
   -has dressed up as one or more of the characters for any reason outside of Halloween
   -has dressed up as one or more of the characters for Halloween more than twice (admittedly, I was a doctor for Halloween at least 6 times in my life– that makes me a medical GEEK)–> This kind of goes with that joke that says, "A fan wears their costume to the movie, a geek wears their costume grocery shopping." 
   -knows a ton of trivia about either series
   -knows the differences between all the Star Trek versions (next generation vs. whatever else)

Well, I do generally “like” the Star Wars series at least – the early Star Wars movies in particular are pretty decent. I think I’ve only seen one Star Trek movie and I hated it, which is probably too little to judge on. At any rate, I certainly don’t collect stuff from either series and I could barely tell you basic Star Wars facts that everyone in our culture knows.

Points: 1.5 just because I think Star Wars is a decent movie.
 

1. Socially awkward
   Historically, "geeks" are introverts and socially awkward, especially around members of the opposite sex.

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Yeah, I have to reward myself some points here. The only thing I will qualify is that I am not particularly more awkward around the opposite sex – I am just a socially awkward person in general. I don’t make small chat very well. People often don’t get my sense of humor at first. Etc.

Points: 7 I am self-aware enough to know that I am a somewhat socially awkward person. That said, I have plenty of friends who are more socially awkward than I am and there are certain environments (i.e. business environments, teaching) where I handle myself pretty well.
 

1. Participated in or has hosted LAN parties
   This is another one of those categories, where I’m not sure you can do this and not be considered a geek.

What’s a LAN party?

Points: 0
 

1. Likes anime

I have seen one movie that would qualify as Anime in my life (Spirited Away) and I didn’t like it that much.

Points: 0

1. Reads actual comic books
   A 10 would be someone who has collections of comic books and may even know their monetary values.

Don’t own or read comic books. I will at least qualify and say that, having glanced through Kyle’s collection over the years, it seems like something I could imagine myself having an interest in, unlike, say, role playing games.

Points: .5 just because it is something I could imagine myself being interested in.
 

1. Have a burning need to argue over obscure details and other trivial things
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-bidi-font-weight:bold;
mso-bidi-font-style:italic”>-Knowing details/trivial information about shows, movies, comics, etc.
-Who will start sentences with, "Well, actually…"
-Watches DVD extras to learn more about their favorite movies/shows
-Who seems to know little bits about everything

Ok, yeah, this is another one where I definitely must award some serious points. Remember how I said earlier that I’m socially awkward? What makes it especially awkward is when I’m sitting in silence until I overhear someone say some nonsense like “The problem is that we are sending all our jobs to China!” when I will inevitably interrupt with “Well, actually…”

Points: 8 I know lots of trivial details about most of the things I’m interested in. I go to sports websites like basketballprospectus.com more often than ESPN.com. I watch DVD extras and director’s commentaries on all my favorite movies. The only reason I won’t score myself even higher is that I’m not very good at “trivia” – I’m not the person who knows a lot about everything. I’m a person who knows a lot about the certain things that interest him. So, although I could battle with the best on NBA trivia, if you ask me a question about a classical composer I wouldn’t know to guess Mozart.

1. Miscellaneous category: 
   -Someone who has written fan fiction. For any kind of series.
   -Has been to Comic Con or some other similar convention or would like to go
   -Reads webcomics
   -Watches Doctor Who, Farscape, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, or other similar shows
   -Someone who prefers to hang out at home on weekends
   -Fan of cult favorites– 
   Movies: Star Wars, The Big Lebowski, Office Space, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Bladerunner, Ghostbusters, 
   TV Shows: Farscape, Firefly, Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Freaks and Geeks, etc.
   -Builds models of geeky things
   -Understands the references in the Big Bang Theory

I would say most of this doesn’t apply to me. I’ve never written fan fiction, I don’t read webcomics. I watched the movie Firefly and enjoyed it, but have never seen any of the other shows. I don’t build model things. I’ve never seen the Big Ban Theory.

Points: 1.5 Just due to the fact that I do appreciate some cult favorite movies. David Lynch anyone?

3) Final Score: 21.5

Overall, I’d say that’s not too bad. Mostly what saves me from being much of a geek is that I’m not interested in typically “geeky” things – like RPG’s or Magic the Gathering. I do, however, apply certain geek like behavior towards my more normal interests, such as sports and movies. So, I am more like a geek trapped in a normal person’s interests. Or something like that.