Political Leanings

Every woman adores a Fascist

— Sylvia Plath

I recently ventured over to http://www.politicalcompass.org and took some test that is supposed to tell me what sort of political leanings I have. It cast me as a Libertarian, which is probably pretty accurate all in all. Since I was impressed with the test’s accuracy, I unknowingly asked my mother to complete it, curious to see where she would end up on the political spectrum.

Turns out my mother is a fascist.

I’ve long suspected it really. Just the other night I noticed the way she throws out all the overcooked biscuits, even though they’re perfectly edible. Sure, those biscuits may not have blonde hair and blue eyes like the others, but they’re still good in their own way and do not deserve to be tossed away, or worse, fed to the dogs.

Despite this evidence, she still vehemently denies having fascist leanings, but I know better. I mean, yeah, Hitler said he wasn’t going to attack Poland too. It’s not like you can believe these sorts of people.

I think this also provides a good explanation for my various personality disorders that I’ve been self-diagnosed with. The poor taste in music is probably easily explained when considering my Fascist upbringing and Libertarian personality. I mean, geesh, no wonder I can’t get a date. It all makes sense now.

I’m definitely not letting my dad take the test though. One Hitler in the family is enough.