Oh yes, really, silly boy

Some concepts are just silly. And there are few things that I’ve responded to with a raised eyebrow and wrinkled brow more often than online romances. When imagining someone involved in one of these sorts of “relationships,” I’ve always found myself chuckling. Really, one wonders how needy and withdrawn, not to mention desperate, someone must be when having to resort to cyberspace for romance instead of actually seeking out potential mates in the real world.

Now, one may think these judgments a bit harsh, but, in all fairness, I’m not merely judging from afar. I once even attempted an online relationship myself, albeit at the age of 12 and with a girl I now only recall as sweatpea33. But, believe me, I certainly met all the aforementioned adjectives, including needy, withdrawn, and especially desperate. So, a bit after that ordeal ended, I realized just how foolish the concept of an internet relationship was and vowed to never becoming involved in such silliness again. Not that I thought the internet an evil locale for discovering your sweetheart, but the key word is discovering. I’ve always thought meeting someone interesting from nearby to be quite harmless, while the idea of an actual internet romance continued to strike me as just silly.

Then, I started chatting with this girl.

Mind you, it was nothing so tragic as a chat room meeting, merely exchanges with a distant Open Diarist. Really, it hardly progressed for some time and, aside from an occasional note tossed out, there was little interaction at all. But then we took to instant messaging one another . . .

Now, as a disclaimer, despite seeming so tremendously happy in most of these diary entries, I often find difficulty in meeting people I actually am attracted to. One may recall all that silliness that took place a while back over The Goddess. Not to mention “The Goddess Search,” which failed as miserably as I suspected. But, yes, despite my overwhelming happiness, I really am quite short on girls I like.

So, rather quickly into my discourses with my diary friend, I noticed an odd feeling. I was attracted to her. Immediately I tried to suppress the idea, logically realizing just how silly it was. This thought continued for a few months, as I began to increasingly notice that she seemed to be rather fond of me as well. Still, I refused to truly acknowledge what was evident, fearing that I would find myself once again guilty of all those needy adjectives.

<span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-la

nguage: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA”>Then, a bit of a revelation hit me. Maybe those adjectives weren’t so bad. As much trouble as I undergo actually finding females I’m attracted to, I am a bit desperate. And, my lack of ability to find these sorts of people occasionally makes me a bit withdrawn. Maybe needy too.

The lesson here is that, ultimately, you can’t deny emotions with reason. Rationality never conquers feeling.

So, at long last, the admissions were made. She liked me. I liked her. We liked one another. And we still do.

<span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-an

si-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA”>And, now, all of you shout out: But, what now? What are you going to do?

And I don’t know. Nothing, maybe. I’m just glad it happened.

<span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family:

‘Times New Roman’; mso-bidi-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA”>It’s good to feel sometimes.