It’s because I’m fat isn’t it?

Seeing how you’ve read every entry I’ve ever written at least twice, you’re well aware that I often get instant messaged by random people, usually females. Not really as often as in the past to be honest, but still often enough.

Now, being the incredibly friendly person that I am, I’m usually quite delighted to talk to these random people. However, the lesson I’ve learned from talking to them is that quite often they absolutely fall head over heels in love with me. I suspect it’s due to my bulging muscles, but I’m not entirely sure.

Now, there really isn’t any hardship that I undergo from these girls falling in love with me. Most of them are thousands of miles away anyway, and usually their love only lasts about a week before they realize I’m a raving lunatic and move on. However, sometimes they live close by and want to meet me.

Lets take another quick break to clear something up: I’m not at all against meeting people from the internet. Sure, there’s a chance that you could be met by a psychopathic murderer, but, really, you’re much more likely to have a wreck and die on the way to meeting the person, so I don’t know if the fears of meeting people off the internet are that well founded. So, we’ve got that straight, I love internet stalkers and want to meet all of you immediately.

However, just as in real life, I don’t like to spend time with people who I find to be rather annoying and not at all interesting. Someone instant messaging me and saying “Hey, I love your diary” is quite normal, and I appreciate it. Someone instant messaging me and saying “Hey, I don’t know you at all; let’s meet and have a wild love affair” only manages to annoy me. It’s just how it is. The unfortunate thing about this is that it’s quite hard to deliver this information, without it being degrading to the person.

So, when I was recently asked to meet one of my internet messengers who I wasn’t really terribly fond of, I declined the invitation. Of course, she immediately knew the reason.

It’s because she’s fat.

Of course, as I’ve previously explained it’s not at all because she’s fat. It’s because I think she’s a twat. However, when she suggests it’s because she’s fat it gives me quite the dilemma.

I tell her it’s not because she’s fat. I don’t care about that.

 

Then why?

 

I’ve done a guide to picking up men, but if I ever do a guide to getting rejected by men, remind me to include don’t ask why. You don’t want to know. No, you don’t. No, you don’t. You just think you do. They’ve done studies. Constructive criticism doesn’t work.

 

But, this girl hadn’t read my unwritten guide. And she wanted to know why. Why didn’t I want to meet?

 

I’m not ready for a relationship I tell her.

 

That’s fine we could just be friends.

 

So, what do you tell them at this point? Tell them that they are absolutely annoying you? Just agree with them that they’re just too insanely obese to meet? Agree to meet them?

 

None of the above. You just block their user name and hope you never run into them again. That’s the solution.

 

If only real life had a ignore user button.

 

Disclaimer: This story had absolutely nothing to do with anyone who actually reads this diary. I love you all and if you want to visit tonight, I’ll leave the door unlatched and some Graham Crackers on the kitchen table, ok?