Answering Questions: Part I

So, I have some questions to answer. Starting with questions from Muumipeikko’s girl.

How did you and Heather meet each other?

Fun question – Heather and I actually met on Open Diary years ago. I think our first OD notes date back to 2004 when I was 19 and she was 16. We were 21 and 18 each when we actually met in person.

It’s funny, I don’t really relate this website with Heather anymore even though it’s how we met. I wouldn’t say that I literally “forget” that we met on this site, but it is strange to think about now since she obviously is much more of a “real life” friend than an “online” friend at this stage in my life and has been for some time. Strange to think that Heather was once genuinely just a girl noting me on OD who I would have never even dreamed of meeting, nevermind, you know, falling in love with.

For posterity’s sake, I looked up Heather’s first signed note to me which was a quote by Andrew Brown: "Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life." She would be in a relationship with someone she had only talked to online just over a year later. Irony?

What’s your profession?

I’m a tax consultant. More specifically I am a sales & use tax consultant; more broadly I’m an accountant. I work for a company with about 15 employees – most of our clients are large manufacturers, though we do have clients from other industries, including Wal-Mart. Yes, I have saved Wal-Mart money on their taxes – the horror!

I am relatively satisfied with the job as I have a steady income and I don’t have unreasonable 60 hour work weeks or anything like that. I also get to work at home on Tuesdays now, which makes me that much happier. My favorite part of the job is that I work relatively autonomously; my bosses are more concerned with my productivity than making sure I work exactly 40 hours every week. I like that.

Prior to this job, I was a college teacher for a while, which was certainly my favorite job in terms of pure enjoyment, but also was not nearly as rewarding financially. Prior to teaching I worked at a CPA firm, which was absolutely miserable, but much more rewarding financially. My current job is a nice middle ground – not too miserable and plenty of money for me to live happily on.

Do you like to read? If so, favorite books and authors? Is there a book that changed your life and/or your perspective of life?

I most definitely like to read, though I don’t find as much time to do it these days as I’d like to.  Naming favorite authors and books always makes me itchy, because I have many favorites for many reasons. That said, a few of my favorite authors are Haruaki Murakami, Cynthia Ozick, Miranda July, and Christopher Wilson. I love Norweigian Wood by Murakami, The Puttermesser Papers by Ozick, No One Here Belongs More Than You by July, and Mischief by Wilson. I also have a soft spot for any dystopia.

Is there a book that has changed my life or life perspective is an easy question to answer – yes! I imagine every book I’ve ever read has done that on some level. I like to think that my life perspective is always changing and evolving. Improving my moral landscape and learning how to best live in this world is kinda my goal in life. Every book I read contributes to that.

To pinpoint one book that changed my life: The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. It captured ideas that I had never really considered and that I’ve thought about a lot since – not only in the central theme of how excessive choice can cause a lot of anxiety, but just in the observations of how humans tend to focus on negative options and outcomes more than positive ones.

Is there a quote that you like to use often?

There are tons of phrases I use repeatedly (I’m sure to the annoyance of my friends), but I don’t know that you’d say any are “quotes.” Any quotes I use repeatedly are probably really stupid, cheesy ones. Like “Denial is not just a river” or “Don’t sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff” type things.

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What’s the most inspirational music/song for you?

This is a really hard question, as I don’t know that I’m ever really that inspired by music. Occasionally I hear songs that I feel speak to me because the lyrics happen to correspond with a life situation of mine, but I don’t know that it’s ever what I’d describe as inspirational.

I do really like Leonard Cohen. His music is the closest thing to inspirational I can think of, though I still don’t think that’s quite the right word.

What do you do when you feel sad? Do you have a special way to overcome sadness?

The way I’ve always overcome sadness in my life is just having interests that I’m passionate about and not letting myself idly sit around in misery. It’s hard to be miserable if you have things in your life that you’re looking forward to and generally I do – there’s always another book to read, movie to watch, sporting event to attend. There are a dozen things that I’d love to spend my time doing that I never seem to find the time for now – learning how to cook better, learning a new language, etc.

Having some degree of sociality certainly helps too – friends who I can call and rant about economic policy with. This is probably really the most important factor and any sadness I’ve ever had in my life has, on some level, been related to a lack of friendships or at least the loss of one.

Luckily, prolonged battles with sadness are not something I’ve dealt with in recent years in my life. When I did have a bout of pretty pitiful sadness several years ago, I think the key to coming out of the rut was just identifying the causes of my sadness and taking action to help the situation. You know, instead of sitting at home and being sad that I didn’t have friends, I tried to make more friends and be more social.

The key for me has always been being able to identify a problem and then work towards improving it, because even just the act of working towards it makes me happier, even if I’m failing miserably at actually conquering the problem. I think it could be that simple for a lot of people (though not everyone), but many would rather cling to the comfort of their depression than actually overcome it.

Do you like to travel? If so, is it because you like to see new cultures, learn new languages, or just for fun?

I do like to travel, though it’s another thing that I don’t do nearly often enough for my liking (another reason to never be sad! I can travel!). I’ve actually never been out of the United States, though I really hope on changing that sooner than later. I would love to travel around the world and experience new cultures, as that’s something that’s obviously more limited only traveling around the U.S. Though the culture of a rural area in Georgia and New York City are pretty astonishingly different – of course at that rate, so are the cultures of rural Georgia and Atlanta.

Ok, so I basically have written an entry worth of answers and those were just Muumipeikko’s girl’s questions. Next we have Eric-S who asks 4 questions:

Being a self pro

claimed egotistical twat, what is your proudest moment?

This is tough. If I’m honest, I’m not really that proud of traditional achievements – graduating college or passing the CPA exam or getting a promotion at work. Not that I don’t care about these things, but they’re not ultimately the type of accomplishments I value most in life.

Not having sex with a girl that I found attractive when she drunkenly made a move on me, because she has a boyfriend. That’s the type of thing I’m more proud of. I think that defines more the type of person I am than anything else and, truthfully, not having sex with her was a lot more difficult for me to do than to pass an accounting exam.

What is your most embarrassing moment?

I answered this a couple of years ago, so I will change my answer for variety’s sake and because I don’t really want to visit the issue again (after all, it is embarrassing!).

The most embarrassing moment I’ve had in the last few years occurred when I accidentally left OD open on my parents’ computer. My mother confronted me a few days later about a diary entry that she read that talked about how I was struggling taking a girl’s bra off. Yes, my sweet mother. Mortifying!

Did you ever feel helpless and everything’s out of your control? If so, when and what happened?

I certainly feel helpless and that everything’s out of my control quite often – there are a lot more things in the world that are out of my control than are in my control! I think that’s a hard thing for people to accept, including myself – that most of the time the happenings of the world, including other people’s behavior, are not within our control.

I probably get most frustrated when Heather doesn’t agree with me about something or doesn’t interpret a situation the same way that I do, because she is the person that matters most to me and I want to MAKE HER understand. It’s hard for me to accept that we have differences and I won’t be able to convince her of every single belief I espouse. And that’s ok.

What’s the one thing you did in the past that you don’t want anyone to know?

Well, generally I am a pretty open person and I am especially open on this diary because it’s relatively anonymous, so there’s not many things that I’ve done in the past that I wouldn’t be quite open about sharing. I haven’t committed any felonies, so the only repercussions I’d be facing is the judgment of others and goodness knows that the people on OD are known to be forgiving to a fault, so I don’t know that I have much to fear.

The best answer I can think of is that, when I was in my early teens, I used to grope girls relatively regularly in crowds. It’s not exactly something I want people to know, but I’m sure the users of OD will be forgiving given my age. I don’t do much groping these days that doesn’t involve Heather.

And on that lovely note I am going to pause this entry. I will try to return with Part II sooner than later.

 

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