Sickly

Today’s weigh-in: 113.6 lbs

Finally descending again.  For awhile there i was stuck on 115 lbs and it wouldn’t go anywhere, was quite frustrating.

I haven’t written in awhile due to being sick.  I had a migraine at work on Wednesday and left early.  Thursday I was still feeling like crap so I stayed home.  Friday it came back again so I stayed home.  I called the doctor’s office to see if they could fit me in, but they said nothing was available so I would need to go to the ER or to an Urgent Care Facility.  I didn’t do either of those choices and it went away on it’s own.  Today, Saturday, I’m feeling better.  Still a bit shaky but haven’t had much to eat in these past few days.

My husband informed me I NEED to go back to work on Monday before they fire me.  One, they aren’t going to fire me due to illness.  I was legitimately sick and granted last year from September 7th thru beginning of December, I was laid off from my job, well, took a break, due to surgery of my ankle.  But I won’t get fired for being sick.  I just won’t get paid.  There are girls that have even more days out then me and haven’t been fired yet.

Secondly, I’m glad he tells me that I NEED to go back to work.  Glad he cares I’m sick and all he really cares ab0ut it getting money into the house.  He has yet to give me  a card for my birthday…he didn’t even think about getting one.  Real nice of him.  But, he did get me a new laptop.  Which is something I need, nothing I really wanted.  There IS a difference.  He just is acting like he has no heart at all.  Honest.

And today he will be at church giving services and attending meetings until 7:30 tonight.  He left at 8:15 this morning.  It’s like he honest to God married the church and left me in the cold.  The church and everything that goes with is comes first.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am very VERY proud of him, but I wish he would remember I exist sometimes.  He’s a quadriplegic and in a wheelchair.  I take care of his needs but he very rarely takes or even sees my needs.  Like for one, if he had any idea, my 30th birthday was the hardest thing I had to go through.  He could have at least given me a card or something.  You know?  I’m turning 30 without any children, I’m getting older.  It’s difficult.  He’s already past that age and he could care less about kids right now.  I can wait, I guess.  But the thing is, i care for him all the time.  I take care of his bodily needs, no need to get TMI here, but I do help him there.  There’s a lot of things he could not be able to do that I help him with.  He’s not very sensitive.

But I NEED to go back to work…was I bugging you?  Was it maddening that I stayed home without pay to get better?  I’m sorry.  I didn’t know I had to earn an income every day of the week in order to please you.  So sorry I get sick sometimes.  Ugh!  Just makes me mad at how he acts sometimes.