Parental Problems
116.4 lbs
I gained weight within the past few days I haven’t written. I went back up to 118.4 lbs and now I’m down.
But anyway.
I’m hosting Christmas Day dinner. Oh. Fun. That means my parents are coming over along with some dear friends of ours from church. I’m cooking dinner and preparing dessert as well as salad.
This would be a joyous time right about now, only, it’s not. My parents have really pissed me off. For several reasons. One being my brother, my older brother, 34, married four times and has kids with the ex-wife number 3. He had written my folks letters about him ‘growing up’ and owning up to his previous actions and lies and behavior. Yeah, yeah, heard that all before. He’s never owned up for anything in his life and now all of a sudden he wants to make amends with me and correct the YEARS of sexual abuse i lived through from age 4 to 14. Yeah, not buying it. I see he can easily move on and have a sexual relationship with anything that walks and procreate but I can’t even love my husband without thinking of my brother. It’s SICK. And, yes, my parents knew about him coming to me to ask to build a relationship. They never once told me. It was an “oh yeah!” moment to them. I’m sorry your brother told us before hand and he we ‘forgot’ to tell you. Sorry, not buying that either.
The other thing is, I’ve been married for 6 years. My Mom, especially, had issues with my wedding. She never ONCE gave me anything sentimental, she argued with EVERY detail of the wedding, and she never really approved of anything if it wasn’t her idea. Now our Director of Children’s Education at our church is getting married and my MOTHER gave her an heirloom of her’s, from my Great Grandma on my Dad’s side. She gave her a pin for her bouquet. It sickens me she did this. Number one, my mom gave me nothing for my wedding. Bitched about it all. Now she’s giving HEIRLOOMS to people that she doesn’t know because she thinks that that person will appreciate it more??? HELLO!!! What about your daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What about me?
I’ve learned from an early stage that things I say or do will have no effect on my parents. I learned by telling my 5th grade History teacher about my brother’s molestations caused my parents to freak out and then freak out on me and made me promise to lie so ME and MY BROTHER would not be taken away from them. At that age i had no clue what i was doing and i had no idea the only person that they would have removed was most likely my brother. I promised my parents i would lie because they told me if I didn’t lie about it that we would be taken away to very bad homes. Now I know what was said to save my parents asses. It just makes me sick, it really does.
It’s not that i want to be greedy and get the heirloom myself, but even my husband thinks it was wrong for her to do that. Now you’re probably asking yourself why don’t i just talk to my parents about how I feel….well, as I mentioned earlier, mentioning anything to them will not change their minds and it will not change their behavior. I’ve learned early that i am second best and put last ALL the freaking time. So why tell them how I feel? What’s it gonna solve?
My mom is the one i have issues with the most but my dad too. He promised my husband and I to come up and spruce up our lawn 6 or 7 months ago. He hasn’t yet, but he can go help everyone else with their lawn needs and he never once helps us with anything. Honest. Then he gives his old laptop to Todd to fix up right now because he needs it. Well Todd hasn’t touched it and won’t until much later. He can wait as we have waited on him SO many times before.
My parents really are frustrating. And that’s not just the main issue. I’ve touched on the tip of the iceberg.