Pain and Pic

This morning’s weigh-in: 123.1.lbs.

This has formed since Friday of last week.  This huge bruise and bump.  I placed a call to my Orthopedic surgeon and doctor and the earliest I can see him is the 25th of May.  I cannot wait that long.  I am in so much pain when i stand up, actually, it’s not when I’m on it that I am in the most pain, it’s when I get off it or rest it and THEN get back on it that i am in the most pain.  And I got orthodics for my new shoes which are New Balance, so they are highly recommended by my doctor.  I got the shoes and the orthodics hoping that the orthodics would help my feet (orthodics are pads that are specifically made for your feet to go in the bottom of your shoes to help reduce pain on pressure points), and nothing seems to help, not even wearing the brace with the orthodics.  I HATE this.  I can’t live like this.  I hope maybe he can put me under when he gives me the next shot or whatever.  It just hurts so badly.  I know I’m complaining, but if you only knew the pain I was in from this you would too.  And I would find an office job to go sit at but jobs are hard to come by and what i have now is paying the bills, granted, I am on my feet all day, but what can I do???

You have no idea how frustrated I am.  I cannot exercise, I can’t run, I can’t swim or bike.  I can’t do P90X, I can’t get away from the pain!!!  I have nothing else i can do.  I can’t take painkillers all day long.  I’ll sleep most of the day.  I can discus fusion of the bones in my foot, and even then he can’t promise me a non-pain fulled life afterwards.  I’m just so frustrated.  Frustrated I could hav prevented all this from ever have happening in the first place if I hadn’t have gotten in that car tired and fallen asleep at the wheel.