Frustrated

We had a deal with my Mom when I had surgery on my ankle. My Mom, Nancy, would come up to my house and watch me during the day so that my Mother-in-Law, Joan, could run errands and what not and work during the day when my Mom was here. Well my mom has been here exactly 3 times since September 7th, the day of my surgery. I try and politely ask her to come up without sounding demanding, and she ALWAYS has some more important pressing matters to attend to, like laundry, or caring for someone else, or making sure her animals, cat and dog, can handle her being away. She always makes excuses. Now I don’t demand she be here, but she made a deal with Joan. It gives Joan a break as well because she’s here all through the night caring for Todd and for me. I can’t get lunch ready. I can’t give myself a shower. I can’t get things off shelves and put them in another room. I have resorted to doing the laundry and dishes because that’s not Joan’s forte. I have put dishes away in the dishwasher and refilled it. But today Joan has gotten that all done. I emptied the cat’s litter box this morning because Joan forgot to. That was a task beyond belief and took me 15 minutes to do, but I did it. My mom will usually empty it. But she hasn’t been up here since a week ago. So it didn’t get emptied and I won’t ask Joan unless it’s in dire need because she does so much as it is.
 
This whole situation doesn’t bother me, it’s really bothers me when we’re at church and my mom tells everyone what wonderful things she is doing for me by taking care of me…..EXCUSE ME!!!!! You’ve been here THREE times; Joan has been here since September 7th!!! ALL DAY LONG!!! You’ve come here when I have PESTERED you to come here, not out of the goodness of your heart!
 
This morning I called, because Joan left with Todd to fill up his gas tank in his car and then she headed home for the day. I called Nancy and asked if she could come up….her response….”I have to clean your father’s clothes and make sure your Aunt can be okay by herself”. Geez, she cares more about other people then me. I know that sounds harsh, but that’s exactly how she’s acting. I COULD be here all day. I won’t eat anything because all I can eat is crap foods in bags that I carry over to the table by my mouth and eat. I COULD try giving myself a shower, but I have and injured myself more for doing that. I just wish she wouldn’t sound so good when we’re at church and telling everyone what a great job she’s doing. Joan never boasts. But my Mom tells more then just church members, she tells our family as well. How great she is.
 
I’m frustrated. I feel like if I hadn’t had gotten myself into this mess none of this would have happened, but I did, so I’m an inconvience to everyone. Joan’s frustrated. I’m frustrated because I can’t DO anything for myself. My husband is worried when I’m by myself because he knows my Mom is supposed to step in. 
 
Am I seeing this all wrong? Am I the one that’s being demanding, because I feel like I am.