A Serious Issue…Any help welcomed!

Well I’m losing weight steadily.  I joined a weight loss blog and am keeping up with the challenges as best as I can.  I’m down to 127 lbs this week.  I weigh in once a week.  I should be losing a pound a week, but I am happy with where I am at even though I haven’t lost anything this week.  I know it won’t take a day to lose all the weight I have accumulated over the past year or so, so losing  a pound a week is good, I think.

Tell me what you guys think on this situation.  I have a good guy friend that lives in NY (I live in Florida) that I have been friends with since high school.  We had a small fling in high school.  He, within the past two years, disclosed to me he has had a crush on me all the way through high school and never told me.  He wished things turned out differently, and that he would have told me sooner.  This would not have changed anything on my behalf, because I don’t look at this guy as anything MORE then a friend and never will look at him romantically.  He talks to me quite a bit on facebook messenger.  That’s fine and all but he uses language such as calling me Hun, and Babe, and baby.  I find that to be reserved for my husband.  I have told him numerous times to quit calling me such names.  He won’t listen.  I should also mention he is a porn addict, or very addicted to sex.  He always wants pictures of me, of which I will not send him, period.  I have gone so far as to block him from seeing any recent pictures on my facebook page too because I know for a fact, of which he has told me, he gets "off" on my pictures, even if they are of my face.  Last night we got into a fight.  A fight which I think I closed off nicely.  He was JOKING around about the possibility of me looking at porn because it was taking me so long to answer him.  I was tired and trying hard not to fall asleep at the table here.  I got very offended, because not ONE conversation goes by that he doesn’t bring up sex or porn or that sort of talk.  I yelled at him to stop.  I am a Pastor’s wife.  I don’t look at porn, I never have, and I never will.  It is a sin and I do NOT agree with it.  I also mentioned that I don’t like it when he calls me Babe, Baby, hun and all the other pet names that should be reserved for a significant other.  This person is also married.  But he is having issues in his married life that i cannot help him with.  So I cut communications with him last night.  He makes me feel uncomfortable.  He always is talking about sex and wanting to see pictures of me and what not.  I just find it very offensive to me and to his wife who would be his main priority in life and not me.  Did I do the right thing, cutting communication and standing up for myself?  He is mad and hasn’t responded.  He will play this off as a woe is me type thing….like it was my fault and I am making HIM feel worse.  Any suggestions?

 

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What you wrote about the guy sounds like red flags and bad news. I did read your other entry. Stay on OD for you and for your friends (your true friends). Never let someone (out of control) make you run fromwhat you like. You can limit your OD, limit to friends only and have different friends groups. This gives diff entries to diff friends. Even if you keep “him” on the friends list, use a listlike “limited friend” –with only his name on it. You can post there spiritually or God stuff or basic stuff that is very very generic. Don’t add new friends after that (because he can make other od names). That’s a way to have security in your od. I usually NEVER add new people (unless I know them or know they have had a diary for years and years etc > You can have your security, your privacy and still have opendiary–without the obessessed one . Besides if you eliminate this “access’ your oD –to him, he might get worse and try to contact you in real life. Once this ‘avenue’ of contact is still open (but not really open) , he might stick to contact here only. By having him on a separate list, you can also choose not to read any of his notes and KEEP them as “evidence” in future