On returning.

I had one of “those” moments yesterday.  That moment when you stumble on a diary and you think:  Wait a minute.  I think this person and I had “words” at one point.  Didn’t we block each other before?

One thing that hasn’t returned is blocked diaries, so I have no idea who I may have offended and who may have offended me.  I only know there was a list.  And I went on friends only for the rest of my time on Open Diary, because I couldn’t take some of the bullshit that comes with Open Diary.

So many of us have ‘outed’ ourselves too.  When Open Diary went the way of the dodo, many of us flew to social media, to groups, etc.  We shared together, shared our diary names (which we never expected to see again), and so on.

And now, many of us know each other.  We know each other here….and elsewhere.

I read a comment on social media; someone saying that they weren’t sure they wanted to return because of that loss of anonymity; because (as I think this person put it) “I am not just some 19 year old anymore.  I have a family and concerns about my privacy.”

It’s totally fair.  I have those same concerns.  People know my name, and I made that a point to NEVER tell people my real name or where I lived or anything like that.  Especially since I was so honest here.  Brutally honest.

For now, and until I am sure people can find me, I’ll probably keep this all public.  People are having trouble finding each other, but I don’t know why.  And there are people who want to find me.  I also don’t know why.  I hate to be secretive if there are people that want to find me.  But I also find, if I try to write too much to an audience, then I’m dissatisfied with how I write.  I don’t write honestly and isn’t that the point of a diary?  This isn’t a blog. I could have a blog.  I’ve always had diaries.  I’m like my dad in that way, though he preferred to write in word documents saved on his desktop.  Documents that a person can easily find when he’s gone….which I did.

I have to write about that.  It’s not a story I shared in any great detail and it’s one I want to write.  But not now.

For now, if you’re looking for me, I’m here.