On being so beyond done.

The job search for my husband is going to put me in an early grave.

It’s odd that it would be this and not something else.  But it will be this.

He’s been out of work for going on month three.  He’s had interviews; for positions that were similar to his, at a lower level than he was, and even higher than he was.

He has finally gotten a few offers.  They all have problems.

1.  The “bad company/career killer” offer.
2. The “worse company/better title/but maybe not” offer
3. The “great company/but did I just get baited and switched into really doing a sales job?” offer

Elaboration.

His last job was at a corporate level, not at a “local” level.  He worked for a boss that was based in the midwest.  He had no direct responsibility to sell anything; instead he facilitated sales by partnering with local sales reps.

Job #1 offer will basically give him about the same money he was making before, but with a company that isn’t well respected in his industry.  But the real career killer is that he will be merely a local sales rep, as opposed to a regional corporate resource.  This is seriously like two or three steps down from where he was in his career.  Being in your mid-40’s isn’t the best time to basically start all over again.

Job #2 is with a teeny company, whose corporate structure is even less understood.  The, uh, “gentleman” he interviewed with demonstrated his penchant for using the “F” word in about five seconds.  Three times in 5 minutes, according to him.  The salary is very good, but the title is not.  BUT WAIT!  There are “promises” of a “better title”…basically once they fire this guy in Phoenix, which is supposed to happen, and then he’ll be some Director guy.  Assuming they fire this guy in Phoenix.  Oh, but he can’t tell anyone this is the plan, you see.  His title on paper is one thing but, you know….”very soon” they will change his title.

Job #3 is with a company my husband has known for years.  It is a company he has tried to work for in the past and has never been able to get past an online application.  Because of his previous experience, he was able to actually interview with them.  He did.  He thought it was for a specific role, virtually identical to the role he had at the company that canned him.  Except…not quite.  The original position’s hiring manager sought a reference for my husband and the reference he got was not positive.  (This hiring manager asked an ex-employee; one of the few people my husband didn’t get along with well at his last company).  As a result, the hiring manager basically decided that he didn’t want him for this role.  But all was not lost – he was asked to interview!  Inexplicably, he asked few questions during the interview process and walked away not really knowing what he was being considered for.  He was promised an offer, but the concern is that it seems that this is a sales job too.  For a better company, yes, but still a sales role.

Oh and did I mention he sucks at sales?  He does.  He’s never been good with direct, personal sales responsibility and every one of these jobs has it in abundance.

I’m seriously and honestly beyond fucking DONE with this.  Like, I can’t even get  my mind around half of it.  I can’t even THINK about half of this.  Maybe if I write it here, I can ‘brain dump’ it elsewhere and it will go away (Not likely).

Being laid off is fucking criminal.  It’s one thing to get fired for doing a bad job, it’s quite another to be canned because you were doing a so-so job (more than likely) and had nothing else lined up.  Nobody wants that pink slip.  NOBODY. Not when you have a family.

Right now, I don’t have health insurance.  I elected not to take COBRA because the premiums were so high. I let my family (kids) take it instead, and him.  But not me.  And now I’m pretty sure I have an ear infection.

It’s hard to think what to think about all of this.  I know I am simply tired of it. I have struggled with his career all of the time we’ve been together.  Guess what.  I don’t want to anymore.  He’s made shit career moves in the past, so just go make another one.  I don’t even want to care anymore.

If this bullshit is meant to teach me some sort of ‘flexibility’ – guess again.  It isn’t.

I sound sour.  I AM sour.  Today, I shall just be sour.  And sick.