Well.

I need to buy a plane ticket to Colorado for my grandfather’s memorial service next month.
My officemate made me feel like I was completely callous for not being too upset to work after he died.
Who knows. He was 84 (85?) and had Alzheimers. I feel like I lost my grandfather three years ago. I was able to be there for his last Christmas at home, and for his last Christmas. We visited the nursing home last Christmas with my grandfather….I kissed him goodbye, and he clapped his hands and whistled. Didn’t have a clue who I was, but was thrilled a pretty girl kissed him. He had a good life. He loved my grandmother, and his kids and grandkids, and had big and small adventures.

We found a great duplex in Chicago. The owners live right downstairs, and are great. They left J some welcome goodies when he moved in this weekend. He’s borrowing some furniture from them, and I’m shipping him a few things, but he’ll mostly be roughing it until we can get everything moved this winter (December, maybe January). I need to find a practicum placement- I’ve found a few places I need to send resumes to, I just have to actually sit down and write cover letters and tailor resumes.  I’m scared out of my mind at the thought of leaving here after four years. But it will be okay, one way or another.

This little piece was published a week ago today. I feel accomplished, and proud. Perhaps too much so for just writing 500 words.

I’m tired these days- not in the barely able to lift my head way of last year when I was sick,  but like there’s just barely enough of me to go around ,and that rest and food are luxuries I can’t afford right now.

I’m too sensitive and too judgmental these days. It’s all okay, or will be.