For the sake of updating…

 I had been in the process of compiling some thoughts about how rigidly gender was constructed at the small Christian liberal arts college I graduated from (and where I met my husband), rigid to the point that he and I both essentially dropped out of social life there, rather than comply. Obviously, that will take some time to unpack if I ever try to describe it in more detail.

I’m tired, ridiculously so these days. Sleeping 8-9 hours a night, and still wanting to crumple into my desk at work in the afternoons. My CRP level was a bit high last month (I had some bloodwork done when I went in for my annual exam) so I have a hunch that this is partly Crohn’s doing.  I’d say I’m about 80% compliant with my meds (getting my morning dose before I get out the door for work is a challenge. Particularly because I’m so exhausted in the mornings I don’t want to do anything, and just getting out the door is hard enough). And it isn’t majorly interfering with my life (I do schoolwork, I do work stuff, I manage to cook a few days a week, and do laundry every weekend. Other than that, I sleep) so I don’t feel like I need to call my GI just yet. I need to exercise more. Which is hard when you have no energy. Thank heaven for my wonderful husband (if it weren’t for him, there would be no groceries or clean dishes).

I had a research participant come for her final study visit and interview today, and it went well. I’m getting better at getting people to talk to me. I’m getting better at taking some time and establishing rapport. Also, one of the things we talked about in class was trying to be nonthreatening as interviewers, particularly with women. Which is so counter-intuitive to me, because in conversations I spend so much time trying to look confident/capable -good posture, direct eye contact, etc. 

My faculty adviser wants me to know what I’m doing my dissertation on by the end of the semester. I don’t feel like that’s going to happen. Maybe by the start of next semester, but only if I take break to just think about that.

Ah well. Everything will either get done, or it won’t.