Be on the lookout for…. almost anybody

I remember growing up I would wake up and go downstairs to grab breakfast and read the newspaper. I felt like an adult! Except I only read the sports page and the comics. My dad read the real news. Our city had two rival newspapers, the Houston Chronicle and the Houston Post. I preferred the Post, but the Chronicle won out

Nowadays we only get the Sunday paper, and only because my wife loves the coupons. But to stay true to my newspaper roots, I do read the Houston Chronicle. Just not the paper, but the paper’s website. And I do read the real news now!

Given the news scene now, everyone just wants to break the news first. Meaning there’s no real information in the article, just a ‘breaking news’ headline with a brief description and a false promise of ‘more information when it becomes available’. So yea, definitely the quality of aritcle writing has gone down. I think my entries here are better composed than anything on that site, haha (and this includes my ‘haha’s and tongue sticking out smileys)

This really irritates me, and several commentors on that site, when the ‘breaking news’ involves a violent suspect on some kind of killing/robbery spree. Due to the lack of actual reporting, they tend to have:

"The suspect has been described as 5’10" and weighing around 160 lbs"

We’re actually lucky if it differentiates the suspect between male and female a lot of the times. Very rarely will they ever describe the person’s race. Given that description, it could be a somewhat average size male or a taller female

What am I supposed to do with that if it’s someone near my neighborhood? Lock the doors, grab my gun and be paranoid of everybody?

"The suspect has been described as 5’5" and about 120 lbs". So he/she could be average height or below average height, wearing shirt/shorts, shirt/pants, sundress, tank top/daisy dukes, overalls, evening gown, could have black, brown, blonde, white, or orange hair, and may be Asian, African American, Hispanic, Caucasion, Purple, Green, or Blue or with pink polka dots?

I mean criminals don’t walk around in a black and white striped shirt with black pants and gloves with a black beanie on their heads and a mask around their eyes like cartoons. I can’t go with the height and weight and expect that outfit. Be like, "Oh there’s a 6’0", 200 lb guy in the burglar outfit over there, that’s not who the cops are looking for. Wait, across the street there’s a 5’5" one! Damnit, he’s walking next to a 5’5" girl in a burlar outfit too"

Given the millions and millions of people in Houston, you really have to specify the suspect

moral of the story: The broccoli says, ‘I look like a small tree!’, the mushroom says, ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says, ‘I look like a brain!’, and the banana says, ‘Can we please change the subject?’

Have a Nice Day!