Emotional NUTTY…ness.

OMGOSH…

I hate birth control, it serviously makes me NUTTY…wanna know why girls start crying at the drop of a hat?! BIRTH CONTROL. So if you want your girlfriend to be normal? Wear a condom. lol.. Thats my story.

Doug will attest to the fact that the birth control has changed me. I WAS NORMAL I SWEAR!

I cant wait to have a baby….and stop having to use birth control. I offered to get my tubes tied…doug said he’d get snipped. EVEN better. So no more birth control THANK GOODNESS….hopefully I will only have to be on it for a few more years.

Conversation tonight.

Doug: "So my co-workers husband is a Srgnt general and they just had a baby, he gives me hope cause he’s 46"
Me: "that will probably be us"
Doug: "May be sooner…"
Me: "I’m not pregnant…."
Doug: "I know, but I’m not 46 yet…it could be sooner"

True…I knew that but since he doesnt really talk about our future in time frames…EVER…he’s so wrapped up in getting school done and focusing on work and all…I am desperate to hear anything about a time frame.

I cant wait to marry him….to just live with him day in and day out. I am just beyond thrilled to hear that it may be sooner than later…that I am floating…I’m over the moon happy. SO freakin happy about hearing that it will probably be sooner than 4 years! AH lol…so happy…I hate the super high highs too because really I am in my apt alone wanting to scream and giggle and laugh and talk to a girlfriend but…I cant. So retarded…

My lows are even lower. I cry and freak out at the drop of a hat.

The other night Doug was in his Study …studying. I was watching a movie in the bedroom (Love and other Drugs) where whats her face has lots of boob shots. He tells me to tell him when they come on…and I tell him no…and then when they do come on I actually do call him in to see them. He comes in impressed that I call him in. He watches and says "She’s got a nice little body" …

I dont know what happened. I went from 10 to 100 all of the sudden. I was SOOO pissed! I knew I was over reacting the MOMENT I freaked. He knew he upset me immediatly and layed next to me and kissed me and said "But no one is hotter than my baby" I come back with "Shut up, dont lie to me….just dont say stuff like that outloud! Cant you just say it in your head" which….really I did mean. I dont want to hear him talk about another womans body EVER…really. I mean I know he thinks it but I dont want to hear it…I have absolutly no desire. So I continue the entire night crying….googling the actress’s weight…(REALLY Kay?!) …and pouting. He kept asking me if I was okay and of course I wasnt…I was really upset…but I knew I was over reacting and I couldnt seem to get control of my emotions so I spent the entire night hiding it and acting ridiculous.

I finally appologized a week later…not for hating what he did…but how I over reacted. I still stand firm that I dont want to hear about how hot another womans body is.

So any how, moral of the story…I’m a freaking Yo-Yo…of emotions of this shiz. I HATE it and I cant wait to have my sanity back.

The End.