Before this journey, some reflection

I’ve given up on being a sad angsty teenager in a young adult’s body. I’m going to set myself up on a 90-day journey that is going to be as simple as possible.

WORK RANT:
I feel like I’m melting into my computer chair and that I worry that I will become like some of my more “successful” yet sad and pitiful coworkers. I feel like I can’t even talk about the tiniest of my problems without a lecture from them that this is the job that I signed up for and I need to deal with it. It’s annoying like shut the eff up don’t you think I know that! Do you really think that listening to your advice that I will want to get to where you are today? You spend your weekends working even more, watching TV endlessly and fighting with your kids or not even spending time with them at all. Of course I’m hesitant about going fully head-on into this career, I’m going to be losing precious hours doing what I want the most to in life!

My situation is not unique. I’m not really any better. I need to take some time to determine what I really want in life. I read the book essentialism and it is life-changing, to say the least. I felt personally called out when the author says that I can’t do everything. Hell, if I were one of the seven deadly sins, I would 100% be greed. I WANT everything! I want to know everything, do everything, be everything. Basically I want to be god lol but forreal my mindset has changed a lot from my earlier architecture student days of “sleep is for the weak, work hard play hard, play is unnecessary” I was in a pretty dark place in 2015 but have grown a lot since then. I don’t want to spend too much time going over everything, since I’ve been trying to work on being more concise and focusing on the essentials, which includes weeding out information. The author even says that if he journals, he only writes a little bit. Writing tons of pages can take up a lot of time – aint nobody got time for that so I figured the least I could do is write at least 3 sentences a day. I think if I journal, I was thinking it would include the following prompts:
1) what I did for the day
2) how I’m feeling
3) what I learned
4) what I’m grateful for
5) what I could do better
6) what I am looking forward to

Maybe progress. I’m a sucker for these self help books. I’ve read a lot of them but I know a lot of it is motion, not action. Still, it helps to know how to do things but it’s most important to just do the fucking thing.

I think I’m just afraid. I overthink a lot and don’t just decide on what to do. The dilemma is that I always want to do everything and this indecision on the best thing to do leads me to not doing anything at all.