Constructed attachment plan

An interesting lack of admiration for any one or anything has brought me to a whole new level. I was at a party last night, and totally fell in love with a Russian woman who is I think about 45 years old. It made me really uncomfortable, not that she was old and had a husband who was sitting next to her but my personality is not really in tune with falling in love. I didn’t know what to do, I just sat there and looked at her for the whole time I was at the party and after she figured out something is creepy about me I just picked up my stuff and left the party without saying goodbye to anyone. I drove home at like 80 mph and almost smashed the car into the garage door. I felt there was something fun about this feeling and the actions it brought about, I said to my self perhaps this is how people feel when they drink or do drugs. I was so totally in awe and sort of still am, I’ve only calmed down a little bit. All this said to bring a new chapter to my life, conceivably life is not all misery unless I want to see it that way. Thus I shall imagine the emptiest glass as half full and live the life so many humans are in pursuit of. To do this I need motivation, don’t worry I have it all planed out. I will fall in love at the very least once every week, with someone or something, but I won’t do anything about it because if I fall in love with some one or something and then I can have them or it, it’s nothing more than a buzz kill. I want to drawn in my own admiration and be so high that not even them and all their love can bring me down.