Ok with me

I just got on my knees and pray. My life is so upside down. Nothing is the way I want it to been. I’m without a job again and a man as well. I talk to God and I asked him for so many things. I explain why I think I am lost and I know that all the things I have done are wrong and I want to make them right. I have so much stuff that is hurting me pulling me down. My weight is out of control and once again I’m in love with a man who use me and don’t love me. And I am so stupid I can’t let go. I need it to be so easy but it’s not, it never has been. I need to be ok with me. But I am not. I need to let go of people and men who don’t care about me. My heart is so big that I leave it open to be step on. I am 33 and you would think that I would know better and be in a better place in my life. But I feel so stupid ugly fat and unloved by everyone that I am dying slowly. Wasting away. Help me God. Love me God.  Help me to be ok with me.