Decisions, Decisions.

I had a job interview last week to work in a clinic where I’d be able to put my masters skills to use, I’d be able to say goodbye to shift work as I’d be working in a clinic from 8-4 monday to friday, my commute would only be about 10 minutes longer and I’d be working nearly autonomously and to full scope of my practice. My references have been contacted, and they have said I did well in my interview and that I’m "likely a shoo-in for the position". So why, then, do I have any thoughts to debate about this position? Well, I have to debate because of the military.

The military is moving us in June. I don’t know to which province, except it won’t be here. Likely Ontario or New Brunswick but then this posting wasn’t on our radar last year so who knows where they may send us (or even keep us here, but apparently that’s unlikely). This job is with a new clinic, so I’d be helping to set up a lot of systems (they just got a letterhead last week) and basically helping to build a clinic nursing team from the ground up (there will be myself and one other nurse working with two doctors). It would parlay very well into future Nurse Practitioner employment, once I write my exam in the spring and become elligible to work as an NP in Canada. I really, really would enjoy this kind of a job, perks notwithstanding as the work itself sounds like something I’ve done in the past year with my student placements in primary care clinics and have really enjoyed. I hope that I can bring some experience from other clinics to the position as well as learn and gain more experience in primary care practice through working there. So overall there are many good reasons to like this position.

My problem is, the military makes me feel guilty. Why? Well, because the best I said in the interview was "We could have to move at any time" but I get the impression they are looking for a longer term commitment than just the next 6 months or so, knowing that we are moving next June or July. Not to mention that I might get pregnant in that time too, so even if the military wasn’t removing me from a long term commitment then life (or rather, procreation and creating new life) would remove me from it too. It seems unfair, to get somewhere in your career only to be stalled by changing locations and changing life cycles (which I also have trouble thinking or saying, feeling guilty that I haven’t been able to have children and maybe it is because I’m putting my career ahead of having kids somehow… only I’m not, I’m just frustrated that timing of career and children is so closely spaced). If I were a man, would I be worried about how a possible maternity or paternity leave would affect a future employer in terms of what I "owe" to them? Not likely. If I weren’t in the military family situation, would I hesitate on this position for a second? No. But I’m not a man, and I am bound to my military spouse and thus to his career- and reconciling that with this posting has been difficult.

I don’t know what to do, if they call and offer me the position. The best I can think of is to say, that there has been a change in my situation and while I’d love to commit fully to this posting I will only likely be staying in Winnipeg until next summer. I could add that I am willing to put in an intense amount of effort during my time in the position, but I have a feeling once they hear I may be leaving and they will have to invest in hiring and training another worker that the desire to have me on the team will outweigh their more fiscal concerns. If I were a manager, I’d probably opt out of hiring me too, unless I really felt that I had the right person for the job in terms of a good start up team. Or, I can accept the job and say nothing of a possible move until after my three months of probation are up, at which point I announce my "surprise" move location. Or, I don’t accept the job at all for reasons of the move and not being the best fit (this is a clinic to enhance care continuity and case management… hard to do if you’re only there for six months) even though career wise and lifestyle wise it would be ideal.

Oh, what to do.

FGirl