4 simple words that control my life.

Ambition-n. 1. A strong desire to achive something. 2. Challenging.

Passion-n. 1. A powerful emotion, suck as love or anger. 2a. Ardent love.  2b. Strong sexual desire; lust.  2c. The object of suck love or desire. 3a. Boundless enthusiasm. 3b. The object of such enthusiasm.

Desire-v. 1. To wish or long for; want. 2. To express a wish for.-n. 1. A wish or longing. 2. A request. 3. The object of longing. 4. Sexual appetite.

These are three words that have been bugging me.  What is it that I desire the most?  What one thing can I have a never ending passion for?  What fills me with so much ambition that If I don’t accomplish it I will cease to exist?

Oblivion-n. 1. The condition of being completely forgotten. 2. forgetfulness.

Now there is a scary word.  It is the ruit of all my fears.  It haunts my dreams and keeps me up at night.  I can’t help but feel a conection among all of these.  If I can’t find an answer to the questions above then I think that oblivion is all that awaits me.

It is kinda funny how it says that it is the "condition" of being forgot.  As if it is a disease that has a cure.  Once you fall into oblivion there is no comming out.  No doctor down the road and invent a serum and inject it into your failed life and make you important.  Unfortunitly no scientist can find a equation that will tell me what my true passion is either.

Why must life be so complicated?  At least when you get older it is.  When a person is born all they desire is to be loved.  When that person get a little older thier only ambition is to get thier parents attention any way possible.  Then a few years down the road the passion as explained in 2b. takes over.  But what about after that?  After you move out and have life of your own.  Why is there no preprogramed passion there?

Sure some peoples only ambition is to have children and be a good parent.  That doesn’t help escape oblivion.  It will just push it a few more years away.  Once your granchildren die you have no choice but to fall into it.

Einstien, Marx, Lincolin.  All of these people knew what it took to be remembered forever.  Should I discover amazing things?  Should I invent a way of government that will make the greedy cry and the poor rejoice?  Should I be a great leader and inspire people?

What ever it is I need to find it because I will not let obivion infect me.