11/27/07

Recently I have realized that I am doing something very rediculous.  There is this person that seems to know me.  The real me.  I’ve only talked w/ them once, but I know they can see my soul.  I don’t really know why I miss them.  I wasn’t romanticly attached or anything.  I just valued there oppionon.

          I am doing really bad in school.  The bad part about it is that it is bacause I’m not trying.  I am going to be loosing letter grades for non attendance.  I did have an A in every class but one.  In two of my A classes I had over 100%.  Now I am worried that I won’t even pass them with the maditory C. 

          I always seem to do this.  I get on the road to do great things and them I ruin it.  I don’t know why I just refuse to go to school.  That is the only reason my grades are low.  I isn’t because of low test scores.  I do good on them.  It is all because of attendance policies.  I also do this with money.  I am trying to save up for a car, and every time I put $50 or $100 away I end up spending it on things I have nothing to show for.  Like taco bell or cig.  I have very few clothes and it is my own fault.  If I just baught food at the store I could have a wonderful wardrobe, and a car by now.  I also can’t stay at one job for very long.  I just realised the other day that I havn’t stayed at a single job for over a year.

        What if I get into nursing and I don’t stay in it either.  I have some serious commitment isues.  It is really wierd because theonly thing that it doesn’t apply to is my realationships.  I have been with the same guy for almost 3 years and I have no plans of leaving him.

        I guess I just have some things to work out.