things are changing.

So,

here i am.

The day after my last entry,

i was admitted into the hospital.

That ward was scary as shit when i first came through.

I couldnt stand being alone,

with myself,

with my thoughts.

 

But after a day there, i really started to learn things,

and i was let out, with medication and a therapist.

So now here i am,

going to therapy (which i found out is a withdrawl center)

on my way to the right does of medication.

and the skills to help myself.

 

i realized that i just dug myself deeper in the hole when i was sad.

i jsut fed the voice that would put me down.

i learned how to replace those thoughts,

t i’ve been really good with stopping putting myself down,

thinking negitivly about my self,

telling myself i’m worthless,

something that for so many years always felt like the voice would

never stop

.

I’ve found its become quiet quite easily as long as i dont give up.

slolwly but surley.

I’ve had two small panic attacks in the last two weeks,

but they weren’t bad.

No more of this "i hope this motivation stays"

its up to me to

make

it stay.

No one said this was going to be easy.