Tulips and Deceit

Chalk up another chaotic tale in the story weaved of my life.  Friday evening, when I got home from work, I walked up the steps to find a tulip, my favorite flower, sitting on the balcony steps.  I pretended to not see it and walked in the door.  Bobby met me at the door dressed in one of his work suits.  He had apparently been out visiting different businesses to hand out resumes.  When you’ve just about given up all hope, a man never seems to let you.  They offer up the perfect gesture just in the nick of time.

I walked into the kitchen to set down my things, and I found another tulip both there and in the vase I keep on the dining room table.  I hesitated to walk around the rest of the apartment because I knew I would find more.  I walked into the bedroom to change clothes and found a full vase of tulips, one on my pillow, and another on the bathroom counter.  I thanked him and sat down on the couch to watch TV.  I had a serious craving for seafood alfredo, so after the Heros rerun ended, I asked if he wanted to go to Red Lobster.  We went to dinner, and both of us were really tired afterwards.  We watched a DVD of Buffy episodes and fell asleep.  All in all, it was a pleasant evening except for one little thing.  When I got home, he was only drinking a Dr. Pepper.  He hadn’t drank all day, and I could tell.  I was feeling really proud of him.  Then on the way back from dinner that evening, I found out why.  Come to find out, one of his Halo buddies sent him a Christmas present in the mail — a healthy sampling of pot.  He got it Friday, and it’s already almost gone.

Saturday was the most interesting episode of the weekend.  It wasn’t a bad day or night… just strange.  The wife of a guy that I work with, Jeremy, was throwing him a surprise birthday party complete with strippers Saturday night.  Me and a couple of others were in on it, so Bobby and I showed up about an hour early to decorate and set up my sound equipment while she had him out of the house.  There was only one other coworker there (a person whom Bobby has already met and hung out with), but Bobby was being really distant, quiet, and kind of rude.  Once the party started, Bobby spent most of the first hour just sitting on the couch by himself playing a bowling game on his phone.  Even when I sat by him to talk, he just ignored me and continued with the game. 

Now, I made Bobby very well aware of the fact that there would be strippers.  In fact, Jeremy and his wife, Lisa, are swingers, and you know how I get around naked women.  But I digress.  Bobby knew all about this beforehand.  I, of course, sat front and center for the show, but he stayed back in the kitchen.  Before long, I found myself coughing up $20 for a ‘facial’ — don’t ask.  Afterwards, I went back to the kitchen and sat down in a chair.  He didn’t really say anything to me, so I just watched the show from the dining room table.  All of a sudden he sat a chair right in front of me for someone else to sit in.  It was totally on purpose.  Then he stood to the side of me, laughed, and said, "Wow, this is an awesome show!"  I just glared at him and said, "I wouldn’t know.  I can’t see."  He rolled his eyes and drug my chair to the side so I could see around the guy.  After about a minute or two, Bobby slammed down his drink, mumbled "I’m done with this," and stormed out the front door.  I went after him and didn’t see him outside.  I heard some rustling around the side of the house and found him sitting on a fence smoking a cigarette.  I asked him what that was about, and he just said, "Oh, nothing.  I wasn’t talking about you.  I was just tired of sitting there.  I needed a smoke."  I don’t believe that for a second.

After that fiasco, he was being a little more sociable.  After everyone left, he and I ended up staying and chatting with Jeremy and Lisa until 4:30 in the morning.  We had a good time hanging out with them until somebody brought up Nick (as in coworker-whose-name-I-said-in-my-sleep Nick).  Apparently, Jeremy isn’t too fond of Nick, and he had been uninvited to the party.  We started talking about why Jeremy doesn’t like him, and Bobby went off on a tyrade about what he thinks of Nick, yelling, "I see how he looks at you!"  Lisa just looked at me and mouthed, "Oh, wow."  I just said, "Oh, don’t worry.  I’m completely ignoring him at this moment."  I was totally embarrassed.  You know I don’t deal well with jealousy.  Nonetheless, we got home around 5:30am, had sex, and I passed out. 

I woke up Sunday feeling terrible.  I slept on the couch most of the day, and that night Bobby took care of me and picked up some OTC meds from the pharmacy.  I don’t remember much of the day.  I went to bed early, woke up yesterday <i>still</i> feeling terrible, and called in sick to work.  He went with me to the doctor yesterday (to find out that I have a sinus infections and bronchitis), and I again went to sleep pretty early.  He was playing Halo when I crawled in the bed.  At about 4:30 this morning, I heard him turn on the bathroom light and fan.  About a minute later, I heard him yacking into the toilet.  He brushed his teeth and came to bed.  I got up an hour and a half later, got ready for work, and kissed him goodbye.

Alsie sent me a MySpace message telling me to look at his blog.  She said that it seems the opportunity has presented itself for a conversation.  Here’s what he wrote with all his spelling and grammatical errors unchanged.  Sorry, but you know that’s a pet peeve of mine, so I wouldn’t want you to think I did it.  I’m just kidding, people:

Yes yes, my first blog entry, ever. I dont know if I will continue to put these up but who gives a crap when it comes right down to it.

Here is my thing with people,

Everyone has a relationship with someone regardless if it would be a romantic one or just friends. They have thier little quriks,likes,dislikes,and everything in between.

But, as time goes on, the honesty seems to dissapate. The things that would anoy the other goes on now without being said. No mention, no lead, it sits and lingers and grows like a tumor. And then, without warning, the very problem has built up so much that the emotions shoot out like a champagne cork, it spews over, and creates a mess of things. So why is it that when two people become so familar with one another, that the silent stand off begins?

If anything in my life I have learned it is that its best to always be open and expressive with one’s own feelings, regardless if it is bad or good. I can say that I have a strange ability to tell if something is amiss or changed in someone’s behavior, and then ask them if something is wrong.

But here is the shit kicker or the whole thing, even if I have this "amazing" g

ift,(that I am using for an example, and by no means acutually believe that ,"I have some fucking gift") why the hell would the person take that oppertunity and lie. I have had many occasions where the other person in question would be given an open ended question to awnser to about how they do not like the way I might do things or my habits,or if something is wrong and they just say the famous phrase,"No,nothing is wrong, I had a bad day,or, no, its something else."

Well, I would have to say bullshit! How the hell can they expect me to believe that?! Really? Nothing is wrong? Then why the change in behavior? It would not have changed unless something else has changed, either the friend or life. And if it were the life, I being the friend would have heard something about long ago or the person would have been more open to talking about the change in the first place. 

So, to all of those that read this little rant, think about how this might apply to you and your life and friends. Is there some change that is secretly going on in your life causing you to act differently? Or is it just the plain old fact that you cannot stand the fucking person after you have gotten to know them and wonder how the hell you are going to get out of it without hurting anyone’s feelings?

Either way, one thing holds true, be honest, no matter what. If you think about it, who gives a shit if you do hurt thier feelings, at least you can look at them and say,"What? I’m just being honest." And you will be able to say that guilt and carefree.

What are your thoughts?

Anyone?

Just after he posted that blog, he sent me a text…

Him: "I…am…so…sick…and…tired…of…people…lying…to…me…about…anything…they…cant…face…up…to… when…it…comes…to…me!:L"
Me: "What are you talking about? And why are you even awake? You didn’t get very much sleep."
Him: "Are you saying that im lazy?"
Me: "What? No. I just know that you didn’t get in the bed until around 5am."

I haven’t heard back from him.  I noticed this morning that when I logged into my Hotmail account, there were several new emails, but one had already been read.  I know that I left my email open on my laptop at home.  For some reason, he’s been using my computer instead of his.  Makes me wonder if he did something weird like request my MySpace password or something so he could log in.  He easily could’ve requested the password, retrieved it from my Hotmail account, and deleted the email all before I got online this morning.  I’ve told him in the past how my mom used to snoop.  I can’t imagine that he would do something like that to me.  If he’s resorted to snooping, he needs to understand that this isn’t simple.  I’m not lying to him.  It’s not like I cheated on him or something and am not telling him about it.  I think he’s got a problem, and I’ve seen how angry he gets when he talks about AA and whatnot.  I just don’t want to set something off and get the brunt of that aggression.

Most of this I sent to Alsie in a message this morning.  After reading it and his blog, here’s her response:

First off, if he requested your myspace password, that is just wrong.

Listen, you need to talk to him about this. I know that you don’t want to bring it up, but you are going to have to. And, I’m surprised that he acted like that in front of your friends. Everyone is jealous, it’s the way that you choose to deal with it that matters. Acting like a dick in front of your friends and calling you out on Jeremy, isn’t the best way to do it. I’m sure that he knows that something is up with you. When someone has as much on there mind as you do, it isn’t hard to tell. And, thats with most people, not just you.

And, this getting drunk and coming to bed puking every night shit isn’t going to cut it. I’m pretty sure that it would bother most people, so don’t feel bad about it. If he wants honesty, then give it to him. Obviously, he has no clue as to why your upset…..I’m not sure why….but he doesn’t. Also, posting that blog was retarted. I’m sure that everyone knows that he is referring to you. Personal problems shouldn’t be made to be solved on myspace…..

The tulips were a nice touch, if only he could have continued with the good behavior.

Yeah, I’m certainly not too happy about him posting that blog for all the world to see.  All of his friends are going to read that and assume I’m some cold-hearted bitch.  Of course, no matter the situation, I’ll be the bad guy in their eyes.  That’s what friends do for each other.  Friends always assume that the one dealing the hurt is also the one that initially caused the problem.

&hearts;R