Secret Conversations

From Bobby to Alsie:

Hey Alsie,
Havent talked to you in a while.
How are things going with you this year?
Hope you are not still fighting with whomever you were via myspace still.

Listen,
as you may or may not know, Rachel and I are having some problems, you being her best friend, it would not suprise me if you did know.
I dont know what to do. I have done my part on the area that needed to change, but now I cant get any reaction out of her.
She has used the term "numb" to describe her feelings toward me and this relationship. She is not herself if it were.
By the way, dont tell her that I have contacted you. I dont think that its something that is a must to know, I’m trying everything that I can to make it right. I dont seem to be having any luck.
You know her best, and I just think that maybe she is holding back those feelings that she had. Im the same guy, no change in that area, but now she is not affectionate like she used to be with me. Instead of spending time together, we are just in the same room.
Do you know what I mean?
I dont know what is supposed to happed at this point.
She says that she wants to feel that way again but she just cant. I dont know what that means. I have done so much to be with her that being confused about us confuses me.
As I said, I just think that she is maybe refering back to past relationships? I dont know. Its really stressing me out. I just got a really good job and I start Monday, but if we dont work out, then what would be the point of me staying out here? I dont know anybody but her. She is one of my best friends and it hurts me not being able to touch her and get the same reaction back.
If you ask her, I m sure she will tell you about.
Just dont, please dont, tell her that I asked you or told you anything.
I am just at a loss and dont want to lose her on any level.
Thanks Alsie,
Bobby

From Alsie to me:

This is a message that he sent me this morning. I’m not supposed to tell you….whoops!! Let me know what I should say before I respond.

[insert copy of above message]

From me to Alsie:

*sigh* At this point, I don’t really even care what you tell him. I certainly don’t care if he knows that I’ve talked to you about all of this.

When I told him that I want to feel that way again but can’t, I meant that I love being in love, but that I can’t just bring those feelings back. I haven’t responded yet to that message he sent me yesterday, and we didn’t talk about it last night. Other than that, you know everything that has been said between us. I don’t think I left anything out.

Do you think there’s any way to make him realize that eventually he’s not going to be happy if I’m not happy? I trust your judgment in whatever you want to tell him. I’m about to go to a meeting, and I don’t know how long it’s going to last. If you send me a message, I probably won’t get it till this afternoon.

From Alsie to Bobby:

I have known Rachel for a long time, and I know her very well. Please don’t let what I am about to write hurt your feelings, but you asked me to be honest. If Rachel describes her feelings for you as "numb", that more than likely means that the feeling is gone. Yes, I know that there have been some things that have happened between the two of you recently. Rachel doesn’t hate you or want you out of her life completely (she would still like to remain friends), but from what you’ve told me, it’s over.

Rachel has never been one to throw words around out of anger, so if she has told you that the feeling is gone, it is. I honestly don’t feel like there is anything that you can do to rectify this. Sometimes, people are different. That doesn’t make you or her either one a bad person, it just means that you are different from one another.

As far as the job goes, whether you take it or not, is up to you. If you don’t see any point in taking it and staying in Co. if the two of you aren’t going to be together, then maybe you shouldn’t.

I hate doing things like this, because I know that the truth hurts sometimes. But, I would rather be honest with you than to give you false hope. I’m so sorry that things didn’t work out with you. I’m sorry for her as well. She is my best friend and I want more than anything, to see her happy. I hope your day gets better:)

From Alsie to me:

Sorry it took so long to get back to you, but I really didn’t know what to say to him. Shit, he knows it’s over. All I am doing is reinforcing that for him. Blew….I hope I wasn’t an asshole, because that really wasn’t my intention. Tell me what you think about my reply. I hope I didn’t say anything that I shouldn’t have….But, I did want to be honest. So, what’s happened since we last talked? This sucks ass for you, buddy! I’m sooooo sorry!!!!!!

[insert copy of above message]

From me to Alsie:

Nah, that suits me. That’s pretty much all the things I’ve tried to tell him. Maybe hearing it from someone else will reinforce it.

Just out of curiosity, when did you send that to him? I’m only wondering because last night, we went to Hollywood Video to rend some video games. On the way back, he started asking me if there were other apartment complexes in the area. Wanted to know if they were all about the same price as mine or if there were cheaper ones. He said he thought it would be a good thing for him to look into.

The apartment conversation was completely out of left field. I didn’t bring that up. Never even suggested it. It was all his doing. Then just a few minutes ago, he asked me if I’d like to go to dinner with him. So confusing.

So yeah, you read that right.  Bobby brought up the idea of apartment hunting last night.  It was completely unexpected.  He was asking all sorts of questions about how many different places I looked at when I moved, what the price difference was on different sides of town, and what the price difference was for a one bedroom.  I simply answered his questions and left it at that.  We spent the remainder of the night in separate rooms playing our rented video games.

I guess he and I are going to dinner tonight.  I’ve been craving Olive Garden for months now, and it would be nice to get out of the house before the snow storm hits this weekend.  Bobby hasn’t read Alsie’s reply yet, so tonight’s conversation should be interesting to say the least.  Things do seem to be slowly coming to a resolution, though.

In other news, I have the absolute best friends in the world!  Tammy kept sending me text messages all morning, saying things like "How much do you love me?" and "You better save some money!"  I had no idea what she was talking about.  Finally, she spilled the beans.  All of my friends in Nashville and Chattanooga are pitching in for a plane ticket to fly me in to celebrate my birthday.  I almost got teary when she told me that.  I’ve been wanting to go back and spend a few days, but even though I make an excel

lent salary, I’m just now starting to actually save money.  Thanks to my last summer health scare, all of my income has been going to bills.  The gesture is just a beautiful reminder that not only are your friends important to you, you are important to your friends.

Cheers,
Felina