Pimp in Pinstripes

I apparently spoke too soon about the sunny, sixty degree weather we’ve been enjoying for the last week.  This morning I woke up to a beautiful day.  It was sunny, breezy, and around thirty-five degrees.  However, it quickly started to cloud over.  As I left for lunch around 11am, it was just beginning to snow.  There was not much falling from the sky — just a few flurries.  As I left my house to return to the office, though, it was coming down significantly harder.  As I pulled into the parking lot, they were no longer just snow flakes.  They were clumps!  Not even an hour later, the ground was completely covered.  It’s funny how quickly the weather can change… almost as quickly as our circumstances.

I tried to get a good night’s sleep last night.  I crawled into bed around 10pm, considerably earlier than I have been.  I haven’t been going to bed until well after midnight during the week.  Add to that my nightly sleepwalking habits, and I only get a few hours of true sleep.  As I squirmed around under my plush duvet, I closed my eyes and willed myself to dreamland.  That didn’t work.  I hate when all I want to do is sleep, yet my mind is so cluttered with discombobulated thoughts that I can’t turn it off.

The questions flooding my poor brain all pooled into one looming answer.  Iraq.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m excited about the opportunity.  I’m thrilled at the idea of helping the people and the soldiers that really need it.  I’m ecstatic about the 35% salary increase.  I get butterflies at the thought of exploring a new country and learning a foreign culture.  No, the things that I can’t seem to push from my mind are the small, silly, mundane aspects of everyday life.

Should I write post-dated checks for my apartment rent?  How will I pay my bills from overseas?  Sure, some can be paid online, but I won’t have guaranteed access to the internet.  Plus, what about my electric bill?  I can’t pay it over the web, and I can’t have my service turned off.  I’ll only be gone for three months, so there will still be food in my refrigerator.  Is it really okay to leave my car sitting for that long?  Will my cats be okay flying from Denver to DC?  Will they get along with the two cats my brother already has?  Will they remember me or be angry with me when I return?  What can or can’t I take through customs?  What will I be expected to wear?  What kind of clothes should I pack?

Yes, these are a few of the stupid things that I can’t stop thinking about.  I’m sure my boss will answer a lot of these questions for me.  And I’m also sure that everyone that travels for the company has these same questions before their first tour.  Dennis got busy yesterday afternoon and didn’t get a chance to speak with me.  I did however find some information about the job in an old email passed around in December.

From what I’ve been told, Afghanistan is relatively safe.  However, the living conditions are not very desirable.  From the email, "The ISAF camp has lodging, internet (for fee), laundry service, mess hall and various athletic facilities. Lodging is dorm like and requires shared space (one or two roommates). There are also many places to go out and socialize during off hours."  Considering I would be working 80 to 100 hours per week, I doubt there’d be much socializing.  Any transportation would take place via helicopter.

When working in Iraq, it’s common to see roadside bomb explosions every day.  However, the accomodations tend to be much nicer.  "Camp Victory is Multi-National Corps—Iraq (MNC-I) headquarters and has lodging, free laundry service, mess hall and various athletic facilities. Lodging is in “six-pack” trailers and requires shared space (one roommate)."  I’ve also been told, however, that we wouldn’t necessarily be staying in trailers.  We could be staying in a palace.  Who knows?  Again, transport would be by military aircraft.

None the less, I’m excited and nervous all at the same time.  I don’t know if I’ll be leaving in two weeks or not going until the next tour in June.  My life is all up in the air right now.

So, what else is new?  Jack left me a comment yesterday mentioning that "Colorado is nothing but a plane ticket away…"  He later sent me a message asking for my number again.  He assumed it had changed since I moved to a new state, but I haven’t switched it over yet.  He said he’s really been wanting to talk to me.  Odd.  Why didn’t the dumbass really want to talk to me when I lived just down the street?  I know that I intimidated him, but is that really a good reason to run from something that could’ve proven to be great?

I’ve chatted a bit with hot coworker’s wife today, too.  She laughed about the stripper pole birthday gift.  She then caught me off guard with, "If you let me borrow the pole, I’ll let you borrow my sex swing."  Oh, and she attached a picture.  Thank god I waited until I got home on my lunch break to open it.  It was certainly not work safe!  I never expected her to send me a picture of herself in the sex swing!  Hmm, I might be a little more inclined to borrow the damn thing if I had a participant to join me in it.  But I digress.

In other news, I swear I think I saw a pimp today.  He was walking down the sidewalk (in pinstripe pants with a cane, no less) in what can only be described as the closet thing we have to a ghetto.  It was certainly amusing.

Cheers,
Felina Naranja