Oh, The Things I’ve Learned

Things I’ve learned since moving to Colorado Springs…

1. Just because people here deal with snow every winter, it doesn’t mean they can drive in it any better than Arkansans or Tennesseans.

2. Do not leave your car unattended while warming it up.  You’re just asking to have it stolen.

3. If you do have to drive in the snow, don’t drive on what looks like wet, bare road.  It’s probably ice.  Drive in the gross, brown, slushy stuff for more traction.

4. Back off if you don’t want your windshield cracked.  They don’t salt roads here.  They "gravel" them.

5. Snow seriously damages the roads.  All of the painted lines mysteriously disappear, and it’s common to hear on the radio, "There’s another pothole on Woodmen that’s swallowing cars whole!  Look out for that one!"

6. Snow drifts happen.  If you get caught in one, just stop the car right where you are and pray that you don’t get rear-ended.

7. Unless you plan on going to the carwash every single day of the week, get used to a dirty vehicle.  And unless you want permanent dirt stains on the back of your legs from rubbing up against the running boards, learn to take special caution when entering and exiting the vehicle.

8. Fog freezes.  When it does, it looks like snow.

9. A bottle of wine is perfectly chilled if left on the front step for a mere ten minutes.

10. If you visit the grocery store on a super snowy day, you’re likely to see several teenagers in a jacked up 4×4, drinking beer, doing donuts, and screaming "Yeehaw!" out the window.  I could’ve sworn I moved away from redneck country.

11. I don’t care how long you’ve been a dedicated smoker.  Sometimes, it just isn’t worth it.

12. If you have a runny nose and you walk outside when it’s ten degrees below zero, your nostrils will freeze instantly.  Seriously.

Cheers,
Felina