Hissy Fits and Mind Erasers

I really didn’t think that last year’s birthday celebration could be topped, but man, I have amazing friends!  This will be a massive recap of my entire week in Nashville, so if you want to read it all but don’t have time right this minute, come back later.  Oh, where to begin…

My week long vacation initially started out on a very sour note.  I left work Wednesday just a little after noon.  My flight wasn’t scheduled to depart from Denver until 7:30pm, but I wanted to go home and take care of a few things first — clean the kitty litter box, take out the trash, etc.  I also wanted to get to the airport early so I could sit down for a late afternoon lunch.  Halfway into my hour long drive, it began to snow.  Although the snow shower stopped almost as soon as I reached the terminal, I still had an uneasy feeling about my flight.  My intuition proved correct.

I spent most of the afternoon in the Smoker’s Lounge, puffing away on cigarettes, sipping Tuaca Tea, and chatting on the phone with anyone available to talk.  Around 6pm, I checked the departures monitor… my flight was delayed until 9:30pm.  I called Tammy with an update, bought a cup of coffee, and headed on down to my gate.  After chatting with a few crew members, I learned that the plane we were originally supposed to fly out on had to be grounded for service.  Our flight was delayed while we waited for a different aircraft to arrive.  As 9pm rolled around, United began delaying our flight by thirty minute increments because the flight crew was late.  Finally, around 10:30pm, the crew showed up, boarded the plane, but then promptly exited.  What now?

All of the hopeful passengers stood near the gate entrance waiting to board the plane and quickly be on the way to Nashville.  Each of the crew members were standing by the jetway door talking on the phone quietly.  Soon though, their voices grew louder and their arms began flailing wildly.  Come to find out, United had double booked our flight crew.  They were booked for both the Nashville trip and a flight to Kansas City.  All of the crew was angry because they were from Nashville, and they all wanted to go home.  Did that happen?  No.  They cancelled our flight.

Now, if that’s not bad enough, a customer service representative began handing out vouchers for hotel rooms.  The problem is that the rooms were not free.  United, apparently embarrassed by their mistake, opted to note the "official" reason of cancellation as weather.  Since that would mean that the cancelled flight was due to natural causes, they were not responsible for supplying us accomodations for the night.  Bastards.  After a lot of yelling and even more tears, I got my flight switched to a Northwest carrier first thing the next morning at no extra charge.  I slept on the floor, under the glaring lights of the main terminal, for about thirty minutes, and I repeated the ticketing and security process at 3am.  Needless to say, I was quite the pleasant person when I finally arrived in Nashville.

I had hoped that my horrendous experience from the night before would just make the rest of my trip seem that much better.  Again, I was right.  Upon arriving, Tammy took me straight home to get a shower.  I had been wearing the same clothes for two days.  Unfortunately, we had to drive back to the airport since my luggage arrived on a later flight.  I picked up my things and we stopped at a fantastic Mexican joint before heading back to her place for a nap.  I honestly wasn’t awake enough nor was I in a good enough mood to go out that night, but as promised, I went with Tam to work at the club.  Considering I received the first of some great surprises that night, I’m glad I did.

The club hadn’t changed a bit (not that I thought it would).  It was, however, a particularly wild night for a Thursday.  The karaoke room was jam packed.  I had considered singing in the Star of Tomorrow contest and vying for an extra hundred dollars, but after being up for two days straight, my voice was shot.  I chickened out, and they decided to make me a judge.  I had a blast critiquing other singers, and afterwards, I partied it up on the sidelines. 

About halfway into the night, James showed up.  He didn’t say anything to me, but instead walked right past and whispered something into Tammy’s ear.  I shrugged it off and propped myself up against a table to watch the show.  Next thing I know, Tammy’s standing in front of me, and someone else is behind me with their arms draped around my neck.  I turned around… and it was Alsie!  She and a friend, Miranda, drove eight hours to surprise me for my birthday!  They had all been planning it for weeks.  It was an awesome moment.  We spent the rest of the night catching up, dancing, drinking, and snapping away with our cameras.  At the end of the night, Alsie and Miranda stayed at James’s place, and Tammy and I headed home.

The next morning, Friday, Tammy had to work at her nanny job.  I wanted to sleep in to make up for some of the z’s I lost at the airport.  Around 1pm, James and the girls headed out to Springfield to pick me up.  We stopped at the same little Mexican restaurant for a late lunch and afterwards headed to Opry Mills Mall.  While there, I bought a pair of kick ass red high heels — patent leather, pointy-toed stilettos.  I’ll have to take a picture for you later.  We finished up our shopping, and made our way back to James’s to get ready for the evening out.

A friend and former Graham coworker, Terry, is in an up and coming band, StoneCrossing, that has been together for a couple of years now.  Last year, they competed in and won the Battle of the Bands contest.  It just so happened that Friday night was this year’s finals, so I got to watch them play again.  They performed the first set of the evening at Fuel, a new downtown rock venue.  After StoneCrossing’s part of the show, James, the girls, and I walked down to Graham, where Tam was working, to spend the rest of the night.

Friday night was also the Mardi Gras celebration for the club.  They were holding a contest (as I mentioned in my last entry) for the girl at the end of the night with the most beads.  I went in that club on a mission.  As we partied our way around the club, beads began piling up around my neck.  Just before the contest, which was actually at 1:30am, Alsie and Miranda threw all of their beads on top.  I had so many around my neck that I was sweating and I couldn’t breathe.  Any girl intending on entering the competition had to be on the dance floor in the disco room at exactly 1:30.  At that point, I was afraid I might tip over.  Hell, I’m already top-heavy.  I danced around as best I could, but I began to notice that I was the only person out there.  They announced my name as the winner, and afterwards told me that when the other girls saw how many beads I had, they just turned and walked off.  Mission accomplished!&nbs

p; And believe it or not, I did not show a single, inappropriate part of my body for a single strand of beads.  I split the cash with the girls, and Tammy and I shared the remainder.

Now this is where the story gets a little weird.  Here’s a little background info before I continue.  I had noticed early on that James was acting strangely.  Once the birthday surprise had been revealed, Tammy filled me in on what she thought were his alterior motives.  James revealed to Tammy that he was paying for the girls’ entire trip — gas, food, etc.  However, he had also purchased hundreds of dollars worth of lingerie for them prior to their arrival.  He told Tammy that the girls requested all of it — even specifying sizes.  He also mentioned that the girls wanted to take hundreds of pictures in their new lingerie the night they arrived.  He told Tammy before I flew in that Alsie didn’t want to see me that Thursday night.  She wanted to hang out with him at his place, and they’d just come surprise me for lunch on Friday.  Tammy, of course, didn’t believe any of this, so she sent Alsie an email letting her know that I would be at the club with her on Thursday and that both girls were welcome to stay with her over the weekend.

Back to the original story, James got pissy about halfway through the night.  The girls and I were having a blast, and he suddenly huffed and puffed that he was going to go walk around the club.  I sent him on his way, wondering what the fuss was about, and continued my good night.  About half an hour later, James made his way back upstairs and told me he was leaving — going home.  It was early, and he just left me, Alsie and Miranda at the club!  We had all planned to stay with him that night, and all of our belongings were at his place.  Due to his attitude however, I didn’t miss a beat.  I told him to drive safely and that we’d call him later.

At the end of the night, we helped Tammy clean up the karaoke room.  She wasn’t even aware that James had left, and she became angry with him when she found out.  We walked out to her car, and Tammy and I took the opportunity to straighten out this situation with James’s creepy behavior.  Come to find out, James had not paid for anything for those girls — besides the lingerie.  As for the nighties, they had no idea he was planning on buying those things, and it made them uncomfortable when they first saw them.  Also, he told Alsie that I would be having dinner with my Mom Thursday night, which is why the girls were going to wait until Friday’s lunch date to surprise me.  It was a blatant lie.  I specifically told James a week earlier that my mom would not be able to come up from Dalton.  It wasn’t until Tammy sent Alsie that email that she found out I’d be available that night. 

The worst part about this is, when Alsie and Miranda made plans to stay at James’s apartment, they assumed that James would sleep on the couch, and they would share the bed.  Why would they not trust him?  Alsie’s met him, and Tammy and I talk about him all the time.  He’s never done anything to sway our trust.  Well, after Alsie crawled in the bed, James slid in after her.  Miranda decided to sleep on the couch, and Alsie, never being in a situation like that, didn’t know what to do.  She tried to sleep, but James wouldn’t keep his fucking hands off her.  She had to resort to pretend snoring before he finally gave up.

I was pissed.  I was absolutely livid that a man that I’ve known for so long and that I have trusted so deeply could do this to my friends.  Alsie was just about in tears and was talking about driving the eight hours home that night rather than staying through Sunday.  Neither Tammy nor I would allow it.  I called James to let him know that we were taking the girls with us, and he answered the phone crying.  I never asked him what was wrong, and he didn’t say.  It was completely bizarre.

We slept in as long as possible the next morning.  We ordered some Backyard Burger to go and chowed down just before the girls and I took Tammy’s car back into town to get our things.  I called James to let him know we were on the way, and he again answered the phone crying.  Once we arrived, he didn’t say two words to Alsie and Miranda.  They quickly packed up their things, and I sat on the couch just staring at him.  "What is wrong with you?  Are you pouting?"  He answered with a very curt yes.  I asked him why, but he didn’t want to talk about it.  That night was supposed to be my big birthday celebration, and he then told me that he didn’t think he would make it.  He said that he was in a funk and that he’d just bring everybody down.  Fine by me.  I told him that we were throwing a birthday party — not a pity party.  I let him know that I would like for him to be there because he is my friend but that I wasn’t going to beg him to come.  I informed him of the plans, and we promptly left.

The girls, Tammy and I spent the next several hours getting all dolled up.  Although a couple of hours late due to ice and snow (go figure — it snows the one weekend I’m back in the south), we finally made it to Big River around 9pm.  So many people showed up:  Tammy, Alsie, Miranda, James (yes, he actually came), Wendy & Chris, Mandy, Lisa, and Dava.  It was so nice to have everyone together again.  We ordered dinner, and then I opened my presents.  The first was a deck of cards — Girls Night Out dare cards.  Let me just say that we had an absolute blast with those damn things.  Then, Lisa brought over a huge, tube-shaped present.  Dare I say I was a little scared to open it?  Everyone already knew what it was, and you could just see the anticipation in their eyes.  As I began to rip off the paper, I unveiled a… Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit.  I squealed with delight and relished the idea of lugging that heavy ass thing all over downtown Nashville!

We spent the remainder of the night at Graham, drinking Mind Erasers, playing the deck of dare cards, performing skits on the stage, singing karaoke, and dancing until our toes were swollen.  By the end of the night and in a drunken stupor, I had sent James and his piss poor attitude home, I had been hit on by a swinging married couple, and I had successfully outed Lisa, who is now happily enamoured with Mandy.  Tammy, Alsie, Miranda, and myself made a twenty burgers and four fries White Castle run at 4am and finally hit the sack around 5:30.  It was a damn good night.

Nothing about the next two days was terribly exciting.  We had to meet up again with James on Sunday because he had, oddly, talked the girls into parking their car in the locked lot where he works.  Basically, they would’ve been his hostages the entire

weekend had Tammy and I not intervened.  The girls threw their things in the car and never said a word to him.  He was sobbing when I walked over to say goodbye.  Long story short, another man in my life has officially gone insane.  Though he knew about my last horrendous month with Bobby, he made up a little fib about his cousin getting into an accident.  Then he told us she died.  Then he told us the service was that night, though she had just died that morning.  Then he told us that he wasn’t going to the funeral because he hated his family and she was the only one he loved and fuck them all.  Then he told us that nobody cares about him, his friends all hate him, he’s just an empty shell, blah, blah, blah.  He screamed and hit his steering wheel and squealed tires.  I swear to god, if he’d been out of his car, he’d have been on the ground kicking and flailing his arms about.  Tammy’s three-year-old doesn’t even throw hissy fits like the one James threw that afternoon.  I’m done with him.

Tammy and I lounged around all Monday, then spent the evening at Nick’s watching a recorded copy of the No Way Out PPV followed by Monday Night Raw.  We conked out quickly that night, and after an uncomfortable ride to the airport with Jeremy on Tuesday, I was on my way home to Colorado.  The flight home was fantastic.  I flew Frontier, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more comfortable on a plane.  Plus, they have mini TVs in the back of every seat, and for just $5, you can watch DirecTV programming through the entire flight.  I watched ECW, of course.  The plane landed a little early at 8:30pm, and I was on the road by 9:45pm.  I might’ve made it out of the airport a little sooner had it not been for the three guys that came up and talked to me after I picked up my portable stripper pole from baggage claim.  But I digress.

I have some other interesting tidbits to write about (specifically, the uncomfortable ride to the airport with Jeremy), but they’ll have to wait for another day.  Quite frankly, my fingers hurt.  I’m about to head home for the evening, and I’ll start posting some pics when I get there.  There will be lots of picture entries to follow.

Cheers,
Felina