Where there is life there is hope
I’m hanging in by a thread.
December 31 was a turning point for me last year. I made some new years resolutions and stuck to them for a change.
I have done a few things to help me try to hold on.
I quit drinking, smoking, recreational drug taking.
I took up yoga and walking.
The down side was that I stopped going out again. I went back to my old patterns of lying to friends to avoid social contact.
I went to my doctor. He gave me tranquilisers to take the edge off my anxiety because I don’t want to take anti-depressants again.
I’ve started to see a psychiatrist who has told me that I am having a major depressive episode.
Drugs and shrinks aren’t helping me.
The last time I wrote here I was on a manic high for months and made some life changing decisions after a period of constant writing and not much sleep sandwiched between interminably long work days.
I quit my job, moved out of my home, gave away my possessions, bought some airline tickets and traveled the world.
I have no regrets about that, although, it was on that journey that the black dog of depression returned, I stopped writing and gave up hope.
I look back now and realise that my diary was what saved me the last time. I want it to save me again.
I maybe blue but at least I am alive.
Hey! Don’t I know you? Noon?
Warning Comment
Volunteer!!!!! It saved my life. It get’s you out of your self. Gives you perspective. and makes your brain stop trying to kill you. I promise!!!! Now you have the answer. You just need the will to do it.
Warning Comment
Of course I remember you! I think of you often, actually, wondering where you’d gone since last hearing from you. I’m not only glad you’ve returned, I’m glad you stopped by my diary to say “hello”. Now, then. My diary saved me. It helped. It saves me all the time. There’s no reason yours can’t do you the same.
Warning Comment
I hear you. It’s my diary that’s keeping me going right now. Somewhere to just sit down and spill. It’s that or talk to the wall and that isn’t nearly as helpful! Hold strong!
Warning Comment
I made a heap of resolutions last year, and stuck to almost none of them. Sure, a lot of them would seem minor or inconsequential to most people, but it’s hard not to be depressed at the thought of time passing as years and not days, and each year ending up in roughly the same spot as you started.
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