My second child

A quick note to announce the birth of my second daughter, who came rather unexpectedly on the 7th of June. Saskia was a month premature, unlike her sister Alexa who was almost a month overdue. My water broke at about 4am in the morning and I raced off to hospital to have another emergency caesarian. I had hoped I would avoid the the labour (having been told I had to have another caesarian but a planned one this time) but no such luck. I sucked on the happy gas during and between the contractions until they could fit in my surgery. I had a spinal anaesthetic, which took 40 minutes to insert due to some apparent curvature of my spine. The operation was incredible, my partner B saw inside my tummy and I managed to see the umbilical cord (I had no idea how thick they are). He cut the cord and they rushed her off to intensive care as her lungs were not fully matured. 

She had to stay in a humidity crib for a while as she was quite jaundiced. They released her to me for a while but had to send her back to intensive care to go back into a humidity crib under an ultraviolet light and for observation as it appeared she was experiencing apnoea whilst she was feeding. It was hard not spend that immediate time with her bonding however, I had to remind myself that many other of the mothers had premature babies at 25 weeks and would be visiting their child in intensive care for months prior to their discharge. 

My eldest child looks very much like me as a littlin, however, this baby looks just like her father. Her hair is quite long ash blonde, she has olive skin and blue eyes. He has fallen in love with her as much as Lexy and has been taking extra special care of me and the girls. 

Things leading up to the birth had become pretty intolerable with him but something new has happened since. I don’t know whether it was that our little girl was unwell, or he had some sort of revelation about what I had been through but it is as though he has made a decision to make some changes in his life. Whilst I was in hospital, longer than I had anticipated, he called, texted and visited me frequently. He was loving, supportive, affectionate and reassured me he was taking good care of our eldest. He continued his study and has one week to go before completing his first semester successfully. He has also been straight. Completely straight. I have not asked him questions about it, I have just repaid him with loving gratitude. When I came out of hospital, he has cleaned the house and cooked every day. Our relationship seems to have returned to the same feelings we had at the beginning. There is an equilibrium between us and I don’t feel as though I am competing with his uneven brain chemistry and his mistress, heroin.

I feel so thankful, I don’t know what has happened with him, I just hope it lasts.

Finally, I just want to note the amazing care I received at the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney. The doctors and nurses were all so committed, caring, considerate and compassionate. I felt utterly supported through what could have been a much more difficult situation.

I’ll try and catch up on my faves over the next few days, in between feeds!