Alone

I know that I have people in my life who care about me, but I can’t help but feel so alone. There are people who JUST started going to my youth group and already are always invited to every little thing, yet I’m not. A group of 6 girls went out to watch the lightning, three of whom are supposedly my "close friends", one who I never really got to know well, and two girls who are newish. I wasn’t even asked to come. If it were a one time thing, I wouldn’t care. But this happens all the time. I’m the person who doesn’t get invited. It makes me feel like there’s just something wrong with me because I have been trying so hard to just be myself, to be positive, and to just be the best that I can be. But if my best just isn’t enough, will this just keep happening? I just don’t understand what I need to do, what it takes for people to like me. I’ve tried being quiet, I’ve tried being loud, I’ve tried just being myself. Nothing seems good enough. I have so much love and compassion inside of me that I honestly just want to be able to share with people, but it seems no one wants it. So I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been praying about it, I’ve asked others to pray for me. But those same girls constantly tell me they love me and that I’m amazing, yet never ask me to join them for anything. I just don’t really know anymore. The worst thing? The only scar that’s still really noticeable from when I used to cut, is when I carved "ALONE" into my thigh. So every time I take a bath or shower, or I change my clothes, I see it and am reminded of how long I have felt this way. It just digs it in deeper. I just want to be free of whatever it is holding me back. I hate living this way.

Halcyon

August 10, 2013

A few thoughts crossed my mind when I read this. First…what’s wrong with alone? It’s important to be secure with yourself in the long run. If you aren’t able to have that inner peace, you’re going to have one hell of a time in adulthood. Second…people are attracted to doers, not thinkers nor talkers. If you want them to be attracted to you, do what you love. Don’t focus on them at all.

Just do what you enjoy doing and **** everyone else. If you like to draw, draw like crazy and enjoy it. If you like sports, throw yourself into them and smile and be happy doing it. Eventually people of similar tastes will gravitate to you. Third…why should they have to ask you? Go if you want to go, don’t if you don’t. Doesn’t matter if you’re asked or not. That’s it.

caramelchicken

August 13, 2013

Maybe you could try organising a couple of outings and inviting them all, then they’ll start thinking of you when they do things? I’m also the type of person that gets overlooked and for me I just have to make the effort to put myself out there which is not my style, but I know it does make people remember that I exist! Haha.

You just need to remember that not everyone is as thoughtful and full of love and compassion as you are. That’s something I have to keep reminding myself.