Oh what a sucker I am…

It has been very interesting rereading my old diary. I was such a fool for “love”… It’s amazing how 13 years can change a person. I had completely forgotten about the Guy. It was the one after him I could never forget (more about that at another time). I’m still rereading… It’s fascinating.

As for life right now, It has been quite difficult in the past year or so. A little back story if you have time… In the beginning of 2015, I was going through another failed relationship. I was much more independent at this time… I had bought a house, learned that I absolutely love demolition and rehabbing houses… but I was still searching for something… a significant other… in all the wrong places. The latest had been a guy named Jose. (I didn’t put names before, and sometimes I have a hard time remember who I was with… and well, hell… who cares if there name is out there.) We had been best friends for around 2 years, we met through a person I considered to be one of my best friends. They were cousins. Anyhow, Jose and I just weren’t meant to be. He was afraid of commitment and I wanted more. I eventually ended it around March of 2015. I’m sure you are wondering what this has to do with anything… Well, I had completely given up on love. I finally decided I needed to focus on myself. Really find what I love. Ok… that’s not exactly how it went down…

I decided that I needed to go sit in a church. I don’t do god… I don’t do churches…I don’t do religion. I have a long history of people claiming to be something they are not. I have nothing against a persons beliefs, gods, goddesses… I think he/she comes to you in whatever form you accept and they all lead back to the same principles. Love and respect one another… Anywho, I digress. On this particular day, May 3, 2015, I needed to be close to god. It was a sunday somewhere around noon-ish. I had seen a church on my way to work and decided that is where I would head to. I parked my car, got out and went up to the front doors… LOCKED. What kind of church locks their doors on a Sunday. I was baffled. I went home… still feeling that urge. There was another church in my neighborhood I had seen several times and thought I would try my luck there. Same story. There was another one across the street and I figured it had to be open, right? NOPE, Unreal… I was like god. you really have serious jokes either that or you don’t want to see me. Finally, I gave up and went home. As I walked in the front door, I was still trying to figure out how I could feel close to god today. I really, really needed it. I sat in my back yard with the sun beaming on my face. That’s when it hit me. I needed to go to the place where I felt closest to god… Where might that be, you ask??? On top of a horse at full gallop! And that is where I went… and my story changed forever. One of the best decisions I ever made…

That’s all for now… I’ll keep you in a little bit of suspense. 🙂

Cheers to all!