06/13/2010

i went to england for two weeks.

i met nigel at the airport and we didnt leave each others sides the whole time.

i was already in love with him before i met him.

we are perfect together.

he held my hand all the time..and we kissed all the time..

thursday night, on our way back from london, we stopped in a car park for a break from driving..and we kissed and cuddled and i started crying because i knew our time was almost run out. and he held me while i cried my heart out..and i said it was going to be so hard to leave him..and he said he hated the thought of it. he said he was going to be so lost without me.

and then he said "you mean so much to me" and i said it back..and then he said "i love you"

and i just held him tighter and said i loved him too

and he said he’d been wanting to say it for days but he was hoping i’d say it because he was scared..and i said i didnt want to say it because it means more when the guy says it first..

and he said he didnt want to never see me again..and i said i’d come back.

the next night was our last night together..and we cried ourselves to sleep.

the morning was so awful..when the alarm went off, my heart broke. i cried from the moment i got up until i was dressed and had packed everything up..

then i sat on the bed and he sat next to me..and we both started to cry..and i said "i’ll come back." and he said "please"..i said "im too in love with you not to come back"

we were both so sad and crying so much..michael never cared enough to cry for me..but i could tell by looking in nigel’s eyes that he truly loved me

when i had to get in the line to go through security, we just held each other and cried some more for the longest time..it hurt so much to get in that line and see him walk away looking as lost as i felt.

it was the worst day ever

i miss him

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