First Day of Lodging my Thoughts of this tough life

**strong text**Not seeing my name in a certain university in India has struck me hard. I don’t know what my life has right now apart from disappointment, heartbreak, and just pure melancholy. This year has gotten me down on my knees. Nothing is going right. Everything is being flunked in my life. Be it studies, Relationship with people and family, or even Lovelife. The only anchor that held me now is gone.

Not seeing my name hit me so hard, that I wanted to cry but I don’t know why I can’t. Maybe I need to watch some Youtube videos (Which actually worked). Well Crying is my normal everyone knows that. Whatever. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and want everything back to how it was in October and November 2019.

In need of help, I pinged her. After staying silent for 4 days now. No calls no messages. I want to call her and keep calling until she picks up. She says that she is busy, but yeah I do see where she is busy. My mind oscillates between feeling betrayed or giving her time to heal her mental state. But equations don’t add up when it comes to Mental state. But I still believe in her BLINDLY and HONESTLY. Yeah Still. If she says she is busy then she actually is. I will wait for her. I love her. I just cannot let someone I love go.

My Family includes just 6 people (MKPPrAC). I call this my family. My inner circle won’t ever hurt me or turn me down. I need to have faith in each person.