Serious Update

Okay so it’s been a while since I have really written anything in my diary. I mean I’ve had updates but nothing compared to the entries I used to make. Well that’s gonna change right now. I haven’t written in a while and I need to get it all out before I go crazy.

1. I got an email from this woman who claims she has been dating my boyfriend. Well I am inclined to believe her because I logged into my boyfriends myspace like he asked me to so I could post some pictures for him. Well there was a message in there from her saying the same thing she sent me. She sent him a message and forwarded it to me. She told him that she’s glad she knows now that she was never good enough for him and to have a good life with me. She then sent me a message that stated the last time they were together. She was really nice about not giving me details of what they did but she kindof made it obvious. Well I know that if I say something to him he is going to deny it and tell me that she is just crazy and a bitch and just trying to ruin his happiness. I really don’t know what to believe. I mean when I logged into my myspace today to go leave him a comment telling him I love you, I noticed that it no longer said I have an amazing girlfriend by the name of Katherine who I hope to make my wife someday. And his status went from being in a relationship to being single and looking for dating, serious relationship, and friends. The whole friends thing doesn’t bother me but the rest of it does. I really don’t know what to do anymore.
2. Drew and I got into an arguement yesterday because a friend of mine wanted me to come down and see him because he was home sick. Drew thought that because I told him I didn’t have to tell him why or who I was going to see that I must be going down to see my new boyfriend. This guy is like my brother. That is just so wrong. Drew should know by now that the only person that I want to be with is him. But apparently I am nothing more than just a stupid fucking bitch. He tried telling me that because I am his girlfriend that he has the right to know where I am going and who I’m hanging out with. But by god if I ask him that I get the third degree because he doesn’t have to tell me cause it’s his life. The more and more I think about it all even though I love him more than anything I think it would be best if we went our seperate ways.
3. Well Jas no longer lives here. She now lives in Quinter which is about an hour and a half away. She got put into state custody. And as much as she hates the foster family she is living with it is the best thing for her. Now she no longer lives in an abusive home. I mean her parents were always drunk and getting high. She’s 15. Her family should be making her feel safe and wanted and they did. They made her feel like she was nothing so she acted like she was nothing. Which is so not the case. She has court on the 5th of next month and might be moving to Washington with her real dad. I think it will be good for her. It will be a change for her moving from a small town to a large city but I think she will be okay.
4. Well my sister is doing a little better. She is going to have to have atleast two more surgerys. One on the leg that she had the compound fractor on. They have to go in and do a bone graph. Then they are going to have to go in and cut the muscle on the shoulder that they reconstructed because it has tighted up so much that she cant move her arm very well. I can’t believe the things that she is having to go through. But she is my hero. I couldn’t imagine going through the things that she has had to go through. She truly is the strongest one of all us kids.
5. So Drew texted me when he got up this morning with I love you and has been ignoring me since. I really think more and more that we should just go our seperate ways. I’m just totally confused. I don’t know what to do. Part of me thinks it the best thing and then the other part of me says don’t be stupid you love him and he loves you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. This is just so confusing. I’m afraid to let him go cause I’m afraid that it will be the biggest mistake of my life.

You have no idea how good it feels to have gotten this all out. It’s been bottled up inside for over two weeks now I just didn’t know how to put it all into words until now. Well that’s all. I think I’ve got it all out. If not I will edit this and add more nubmers to it.