Amazing…and scary all at the same time

I spent another 3 hours on the phone with Brian last night. Right now we are going through pretty much the same thing as each other. His mom is doing okay right now but like he told me anything can happen. My sister is going in for surgery on Saturday morning. I am so worried cause here I am in Kansas and they are in California. I’m scared. My oldest sister is more like my mom. I don’t know what I will do if anything happens to her. So Brian and I were trying to get each other to talk and think about something different. It worked for a little bit. It’s kind of scary. I have learned more about him in two 3 hour conversations and the almost two hours he was at my house than I ever learned about Jim in the two weeks we were together or Dave in the 4 years off and on. I mean last night I knew he had to be up early for work and I tried to let him go and he told me no not until he thought I would be okay enough to try and sleep. It was so sweet. And right now I feel like no one other than my family will miss me until last night. I told hiim to name one person outside my family(Crystar, Katie, and Jas…you are family to me). He said Me. I would miss you. It’s been a long time since I have found someone who I can talk to and understands so much about my life and the world around us. Well that’s all. I should try and sleep. I haven’t since Tuesday. Later everyone

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February 1, 2007

I know I’m family. And you’re mine. Why else would I refer to you as Aunt Kat? duh! But, I’m glad you have Brian and one of these days I hope to be able to tell him that myself. I’m glad that you have someone who can be there for you (you know what I mean). You deserve it. But, the same rules apply for him…he hurts you, he dies…getting too serious…anyway i love you kitty *fingers crossed* 🙂